Why is it only acceptable to make jokes on April 1st? Figures the French are responsible for this holiday.

I have this odd feeling stomach ache today, I wonder if it is SARS. I think that we are all going to die from that, it�s coming over here now, they are quarantining people in Canada and Asia and the US now. Perhaps it�s this large cup of cream I�m drinking that happens to have a little bit of coffee in it the cocksucker that she was for making it like this. I don�t care how fucking nice an ass you have, learn how to make a goddamned cup of coffee for chrissssakes. My change was $6.66 again. If you make the coffee good tomorrow, there might just be a 66 cents tip in it for you. I can be nice. See.

Do you think the Pentagon has people searching the web for the word �bomb� and �pentagon� in the same sentence? Do I look like a give a shit?

We saw a horse, well, I did. I failed to take a photo. I was alone.

Whereas I have nothing inside of me at all, I want to run through the wall. I bet I could run through that wall, where the women live next door. I would break in there and get on their dog (Buddy), and ride it into a different dimension.

I have a plan:

There are dogs, or rather, there ARE dogs. Dogs that will take me to other dimensions, the dogs physically stay here on earth, and the rightful owners have no idea

actually, I shouldn�t go there.

if you sign my guestbook and mention anything about the dimension crossing dogs, I will hunt you down, you know what, fuck it, I�m taking down the guestbook so nobody mentions it.

Please do not contact me ever again.

before & after