it all goes away once you see a smile or a hello or something like that. it comes back when you realize the bullshit never ends. it baffles me that I always go back for more punishment, by my own accord. It baffles me that most people, wait, everypersonisselfishIamIknowthatIjerkedofftoagood friendsgirlfriendinthebathroomofthisrestaurantwhilewewereallouttodinneronenightIjuststoppedbytogetcoffee andIgotabriefsmileI�mbackhereandI�mreadytomakephonecallsandplanstokillallofmyfriends andexlovers/friendsIfitwasn�tsuchawasteofmyenergyIwouldgoonandonaboutthisoneandthat oneandthesepeopleandthatpeople,butit�sawasteofmytime.

-IT IS A WASTE OF FUCKING TIME-

I had planned to get drunk this week, and then I realized I was going to cut that shit out. It�s been a while since I drank I think. I need to rid it, I do enough shitty things to myself already, and I have no desire to be in that demographic anyway. the demographic of EVERYFUCKINGBODYIKNOW there are a few of us I meet here and there, for the most part everyone I know is a fucking sheep in this regard. At least the marijuana makes things better, drinking makes you either want to fuck anything that moves, or it makes you obnoxious. Whereas I am already both of these things, I don�t need to make it worse. I want to fuck everything that moves that has a body. I can�t think of a friend�s girlfriend I haven�t wanted to fuck yet. Well, okay, I can think of a couple now. I want to get married and cheat on my wife over and over and do drugs. I want to fucking fuck my wife. I love my wife, rather, I will love my wife. I want to get married now. I was thinking this last night after I dropped dan off. I drove around for a few and thought I needed to get married. I will love my wife and fuck my wife every night and I will let her fuck me when I get to get fucked. I want to fuck my wife. I want to make love to my wife every singlefuckingnight. my wife will be this beautiful woman who has dark brown eyes, and she will be a little shorter than me. my wife will so fucking love john coltrane that we will name our first child naima. I want to fuck my black wife in the ass on her birthday. I will fuck my white wife on Christmas eve and when we are done, I will pray to jesuschristthealmightykingofthejews �dear jesus I just fucked my wife because I am in love with my wife. I love you jesus when I ejaculated into my wifes vagina I did it for the love of the almightyjesuschrsitkingofthejews. jesus please forgive me for ever having any kind of involvement with what you call sin. oh, jesus, I never sinned not like that man down the street. I would never covet thy neighbors wife, and I would never lay down next to a man with thoughts of fuckinghimintheassandejaculatinginsideofhim jesus, I just fucked my wife and now I want to make a family out of it I wanted to create this baby on your birthday jesus. oh mighty jesus Christ in the sky, please accept the ejaculate I just put inside of my beautiful wife as an offering, a birthday gift. happy birthday jesus Christ�

I will never answer this fucking telephone again. it is ringing right now as I write this. please don�t leave a message. please don�t ever fucking call meeverafuckinggain.

hey my birthday is coming up in a couple of months. I am going to buy a rifle on my birthday and take out the members of that band bright eyes, because they suck, and they are most likely sinners.

ifthegirlisprettyyouwillbesetupforheartacheyoushouldonlydateuglywomen

ifthegirlisprettyyouwillbesetupforheartacheyoushouldonlydateuglywomen

ifthegirlisprettyyouwillbesetupforheartacheyoushouldonlydateuglywomen

ifthegirlisprettyyouwillbesetupforheartacheyoushouldonlydateuglywomen

ifthegirlisprettyyouwillbesetupforheartacheyoushouldonlydateuglywomen

ifthegirlisprettyyouwillbesetupforheartacheyoushouldonlydateuglywomen

�how about if they are ugly on the inside?�

�guilt�

-summerof69-

we walked along the river and I looked into your eyes and we both knew it was real

you knew it was real

you even fucking told me it was

so why the fuck did you have to do this to me?

I am completely fuckinguseless without you now

why the fuck did you do this

why the fuck did you do this?

you have no fucking idea what you�re doing

you have no fuckingideawhatyoudid

I never wanted to feel like this about you

remember you cooked me that meal and we both got sick?

remember the time we fucked in the car in the back of that temple in Marblehead?

you are fucking done now

done with me?

why the fuck did you do this?

because you are an evil fucking piece of fucking shit that is why you did this

I never loved you

I wanted to fuck your friend

I jerked off to your roommate when you fell asleep

I am still in love with you

I want you to be my wife

don�t you see how amazing it was?

do you remember walking along the river

or down beacon street?

do you remember when we would laugh at the fashion choices of all the trendy college kids

sitting on the stoop to share a cigarette

I hated that one ring you wore that made it hurt to hold your hand

the story of my life that fucking ring

before & after