Ain�t no woman like the one I got.

There really ain�t. So I think the allergies are doing something to my life right now. I woke up this morning and the nose is feeling like a turkey on thanksgiving, and my back still hurts, and my eyes are watery, and I keep yawning, and, well, maybe I�m going through menopause. Can you go through that as a 19 year old African American man like myself I wonder? I wonder how many other young blacks like myself are going through menopause like this. I wondered this the other night, so I went into an African American chat room under an assumed name (not because I�m not African American, but because it�s embarrassing to be going through menopause as a 19 year old African American male), and this is what down. I am Marvin. I cut out the �room stuff� until I started talking to one person.

Marvin: Hey, you like music?

Brklyn11: yeah all types

Marvin: I love all types too man, I like thug hip-hop, I like some smooth type shit too, like J-Lo, and R Kelly, some old school Temptations my granny used to play us back in Louisiana.

Brklyn11: you from Louisiana?

Marvin: no, my family was, we used to visit her, I�m in Boston now.

Brklyn11: your baseball team sucks man!

Marvin: yo, check yo self before you wreck yo self!

Brklyn11: I�m juss playin yo

Marvin: hey, this is one of my first times on the internet, I just got a computer, are there chat groups for like doctors or some shit like that?

Brklyn11: I don�t know what you mean

Marvin: I�m feelin ill right now

Brklyn11: like yo baseball team?!

Marvin: yo!

Brklyn11: yo!

Marvin: I was talking to this dude and he said I might have menopause or some shit like that

Brklyn11: my mother had that shit, you can�t get that!

Marvin: why can�t I, I fell like shit

Brklyn11: that�s for women, they go through that when they get older

Marvin: man, I got all the symptoms of it, I feel like I got a cold, but it�s like 20 times worse

Brklyn11: let me get my friend up in here, she might know what you�re talking about

Foxy411: yo Tim what up?

Brklyn11: my man here says he�s going through menopause

Foxy411: LOL!

Marvin: wassup?

Foxy411: you going through menopause, and you a man?

Brklyn11: he thinks he�s got the symptoms

Marvin: I�m feeling real ill right now, you know, like the real ill shit

Brklyn11: Like that new Nelly, that is the real ill shit

Foxy411: Tim, you going to see Nelly when we hit the city?

Brklyn11: yeah

Marvin: yo, I�m a sick motherfucker up in here right now!

Brklyn11: I know, you is sick

Foxy411: yeah, thinking you got menopause up in you

Marvin: why is it hard to believe I got menopause and shit running through me. Foxy, are you like Foxy Brown?

Foxy411: yeah, I got the bangin back door like her nigga

Marvin: word

Brklyn11: yeah, she got it truss me

Foxy411: Tim, you ain�t seen me shake everything I got

Brklyn11: You shook it all out at that party on 7th that night last spring!

Marvin: you two know each other

Brklyn11: she used to date my nigga King

Foxy411: until he got all thugged out

Marvin: what should I take for this menopause I got running up in me right now? My homey says I should just smoke a phat blunt, get in the bathtub and get my shit lifted

Foxy411: that sounds like a dope time

Brklyn11: yo you two, I gotta be audi, ny nigga Ken is outside my window

Foxy411: later Tim!

Marvin: nice meeting you in this chat room Tim!

Foxy411: where you from Marvin?

Marvin: I�m up in Beantown

Foxy411: my cousin Darlene lives up there, in Lawrence

Marvin: Oh yeah, Lawrence, that�s an ill little city

Foxy411: so you gonna take that bath and smoke a blunt?

Marvin: yeah, you comin up here?

Foxy411: : )

Marvin: you ever have this menopause shit runnin up in ya?

Foxy411: you still runnin on about that shit?

Marvin: I�m a sick ass nigga!

Foxy411: nigga please, you ain�t got menopause�you straight up clownin

Marvin: How old are you Foxy?

Foxy411: 24, you

Marvin: 19, that�s the age when you get this menopause shit in ya!

Foxy411: you a funny nigga

Marvin: I ain�t funny when I�m walkin like my gramps in tha morning!

Foxy411: yo, you got a girl?

Marvin: I ain�t got a lady right now, my sisters friend was sweatin me for like a month and then she went off with my friend Boon

Foxy411: ain�t that the shit

Marvin: you got a man?

Foxy411: I�m off and on with this dude

Marvin: I am so excited about this internet shit. I hope someone on the internet can help me get this menopause shit out of me

Foxy411: you strange

Marvin: Let me tell you Foxy411, I got pains all up in my shit that I think came along inside me from this one night I was hanging out with these Chinese leprechauns.

Foxy411: huh?

Marvin: these Chinese Leprechauns, real thugged out dudes, they came up and gave me poison and shit

Foxy411: is that a gang up in Boston or something

Marvin: no, these Chinese Leprechauns are the real shit yo, they are little dudes that spray poison in your face and shit when you talk shit

Foxy411: I don�t talk much shit

Marvin: Well then the Chinese Leprechauns won�t poison you, and you won�t get menopause!!

Foxy411: you trippin, you allright??

Marvin: Hold on, there�s someone outside my door knockin

Marvin: shit!

Marvin: oh fuck dis!!!!!I

Foxy411: what�s going on, who was it? one of them Leprauchans? LOL

Marvin: can you call someone?!!

Foxy411: why?

Foxy411: you still there?

Foxy411: I�m out, you a tripped out motherfucker.

before & after