Just had the first proper rehearsal with the band since probably two months ago it seems. By proper, I mean the first time we were not rehearsing for anything in general. We got one new song done. It reminded me of Sonic Youth, the Velvet Underground, and Black Sabbath. Anyway, the band sounded good, and I�m happy we are getting along, and doing what we do best together. The rock music creation process.

I�m not married, that�s my right hand..

So I�ve been trying to finish this book for a long time now, initially it was going to be a collection of stories, but it�s started to just be a long story. I know a while back around Boston I think, there was a contest running for the worst, cheesiest opening sentence for a novel, I have a bunch of opening lines I�ve come up with over the years trying to get this novel the beginning it needs to rope the reader in immediately. Without further ado:

I walked among the brokenhearted buildings of a city that lost its soul when she left town.

Drunk and brains fucked out, we left my apartment for a cup of silent coffee, and loud haircuts.

He was part Michael Caine, part Ted Kennedy, and he was on PCP.

We John Coltraned ourselves downtown, and made our way into the disconcerted evening of nightclubs, smoky all night diners, and characters out of a bad Steely Dan song.

He threw himself at her, just as they had thrown tea in the harbor years before, on this dark, melancholy evening in Boston.

The night he broke Nobuko�s heart, he felt as if he had single handedly avenged the bombing of Pearl Harbor, and finally gotten the closure on this tired relationship.

Jennifer was ready, fuck was Jennifer ready.

With my messenger bag filled with memories, and mix tapes, I put on my Sauconys, and left Detroit for good.

She made me feel like Jesus Christ, I made her feel like a pile of dirt.

The acrid taste of the night before filled my mouth, as I emptied the contents of my pocket onto my dresser; this would be the final morning of my coke binge.

His home was in the passenger seat of her black Jetta, they often fucked.

My father would have been proud; I strummed the first few chords of �Private Dancer� by Tina Turner on my guitar, and faced my first day as a transvestite with vigor not seen since the terrorist attack on the World Trade Center on September 11th, 2001.

She fucked him for coke, he fucked her because his wife was pregnant.

**

So I just went to the video store, and that goddamned black guy that works there, who is the whitest guy in the world, was reciting lines along with Shrek, which they had playing in the store. Then the other guy was doing it too, and I felt like I could explode and start throwing hand grenades around the fucking place just to get these assholes to shut up. That place has been a haven for these guys ever since I started going there. The problem is, is a lot of the time I go in there, and I�m high. It�s bright in there, it�s yellow and blue, and it�s you know, that place that rents videos. They are now open until 1AM on weekend nights too! This makes it great for me, so now when I feel like an even bigger loser on a weekend night, and I want to stay in for the umpteenth weekend in a row, I can rent the latest James Spader movie or whatever. So I go in this place all the fucking time, and they are always annoying the piss out of me. First there was the Kevin Smith obsession. I like Kevin Smith as much as the next person, I don�t love him, I�d rather watch a Woody movie any day, or ummm, read or something. But these guys, when a new Kevin Smith thing is happening, you go in there and it�s all fucking Kevin Smith, all the fucking time. A 24 hour Kevin Smith party. I dread the day when his new movie comes out, and then the three months later when it�s released on video and they start playing it. At one point in my life I saw the whole Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back with commentary on DVD over a two week period from just going in there to find something to jerk off to before I go to sleep. Half of the time, I would leave so flustered that I would watch 15 minutes of the movie, and go to sleep as I filled with rage and anger. Breath in. Breath out. Have a cigarette. Play the music. You will go to sleep, and eventually the video store guys will be eaten by alligators.

Worship the cock, worship the dollar.

before & after