�the taste of Robert Plant�s soul?�

don�t try to justify this, don�t try to make it like it meant nothing, don�t tell me that you didn�t mean to hurt me, don�t tell me that you never do this kind of thing, don�t tell me that it meant nothing I said, don�t tell me that you have a clean record with this kind of thing, don�t tell me it didn�t feel exciting, don�t tell me it didn�t feel good, don�t tell me that he is nobody, don�t tell me you didn�t fuck him, don�t tell me it wasn�t worth it anyway, don�t tell me it didn�t feel good throughout your body, don�t tell me he didn�t take you from behind like a dog, don�t tell me you didn�t think about me at all, don�t tell me that Jesus would forgive you, don�t tell me that you will never do it again, tell me something good for once, ask me something about me, ask me something important, right now, don�t tell me that you won�t do it again, I know you enough now, I know exactly how you are, you are all alike, not all of you women, but you, you are all alike, like me, I can�t keep my eyes and hands off of other women, I can�t be faithful, even if I think that Jesus is watching me, I can�t guarantee you anything, I can�t guarantee I can be faithful, I can guarantee only one thing, I won�t tell you if I am, no matter how much evidence is stacked against me, you, you will come straight out and tell me that shit, that my dear, is the main difference between us. You have a good heart, I have a good heart in the catalog, and during the trial period.

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�heavy on the prog/fusion tip�

we attended church together, and when we got out (I was so fucking bored, I replayed the night before in my head during the service in my head, I was fucking you, while the priest talked about children and families), we went to my place and finished off a bunch of coke, and took a ride to New Jersey. Do you remember that day? I need to write you a letter.

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�the night I picked up a girl wearing a Genesis ABACAB tour t-shirt�

When I wake up in the morning, depending on what time it is, I always make sure I walk to the bathroom using my left foot as the more �exciting� of my two feet. Where I sleep on my right side, I feel like the left leg and foot should be the one that gets more action in the morning. My right leg is covered by my left leg all night, so it�s usually still resting.

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�my friends wife and I have something in common�

She was so hot, that when I introduced her to my boss, he fired me.

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�the annoying stage banter of Paul Stanley versus my sex life in high school�

I tried 3 times to call you last night. You didn�t answer any of my calls. I then drove to my ex-girlfriends house, and called you from outside of her window. The last time I parked in front of my ex-girlfriends house was the day I bought that AR-47 Assault rifle.

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�this here is your �devil button�, use it if they fuck with you�

FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU ALL OF YOU EVERYFUCKINGONEOFYOUISOUTTOFUCKINGGETMESTAYAWAYFROMMEFUCKYOUFUCKYOUFUCKYOU!!!!!

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�Leo Sayer � 5 Supertramp � 0, Leo takes the series�

My legs have been exhausted, no, my thoughts have been exhausted, my legs are nodding off again � Emaj7, Cmaj7, etc.

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�It tastes like you might be sick or something�

Say hey mama said the way you groove gonna make you sweat gonna make you groove.

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�1-800-GAMBLER�

I remember masturbating to Linda Ronstadt in that sparkly blue Dodgers jacket that she wore when she sang the National Anthem during the Yankees/Dodgers World series. I bet Jerry Brown fucked her that night that motherfucker.

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�My favorite Italian dish versus the best pussy eating Lil� Kim has ever received�

I now own a CD that has Christopher Cross on it in one form(it�s just one song) If anyone ever knew I owned this I would surely be fucked, no amount of Sun Ra or Albert Ayler CD�s I could possibly own can help me now. Just because I can listen to all of Trout Mask Replica in one sitting without feeling uncomfortable does not balance anything out here. I have something with Christopher Cross on it. Thankfully all of the women I know have no fucking idea who Sun Ra is, who Can is, or why anyone would ever listen to Merzbow, as I would never have sex again.

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�I would like to buy a vowel, and then, I would like to fuck your wife�

How many more times can I look at this clock today and not think of how fucked up I am going to get tonight?

before & after