So I walk into the coffee shop this morning. Actually that�s not true, I go to the drive through, and I don�t even go to Dunkin Donuts in the morning. So yesterday, and over the past couple of days, I�ve noticed a new item at Dunkin Donuts. The Steak Egg and Cheese on a bagel/English muffin, etc. sandwich. Why would anyone in their right mind buy something with the word �Steak� in it, at a place that specializes in donuts? Why would that happen? I will punch someone in the fucking head if I witness them buying one of these. Then when they come back to their senses, I will have taken them to this farm, where I will take out my sword, and cut a cow�s head off, and then make some fucking steak. No, fuck that, I will find a little baby cow, cut it�s head off, while it�s in a tiny little box, and make a Veal, egg and cheese sandwich for them. I will hold my 357 up to their head and make them eat it in front of me and say �I will never order steak from the donut place again� over and over. The only people who are safe from this are vegetarians. Who for once are doing something good, by not having any chance of buying one of these there. Or, perhaps someone will come back to the other side via one of these. Perhaps someone will say �I don�t want to be a vegetarian anymore, I think I�ll kick it off with one of those new steak egg and cheese sandwiches at dunkin donuts� well, you know what, for once, I think people should stay vegetarian just to avoid committing this crime.

There�s a black guy that works here.

I don�t really know many black people in real life. I like black people just as much as the next guy, but I don�t really have any day to day interaction with black people as we know and love them. So this black guy that works here, comes by and cleans up or whatever, and always talks to me. the subject of women always comes up, and as it is, he apparently has sex every single night. The conversation could be about jackhammers, and all of a sudden he�ll say �yeah, like I was jack hammering this chick last night�. This black guy gets more pussy than a kitty litter box. I don�t know how he does it. I wonder if he�s lying. I�m trying to work my favorite line from a movie in conversation with him which is �I ate so much pussy back then, my beard looked like a glazed donut�. If someone can tell me what movie that�s from, I�ll buy them a glazed donut.

So Phish is getting back together. Finally. From the years 1990-2000 I saw the band 70 times all over the place, and they were a big part of my life. I don�t know if they will be as big to me at this point of tight money and that kind of thing, but I am pretty excited to see them again. I haven�t seen them since September of 00� so it will be odd. I have over the years, gotten more impatient, and uncomfortable with crowds though. I generally can�t deal with people touching me, and if going to that club show is any indication, I don�t feel like I�ll be as into it as I thought I would. The older I get, the less interested in seeing �important events� or places unfold in front of me. I have so many bills I need to pay, I�d rather just die sooner.

If you have this motherfucker with you when you get your teeth done, you will be fine�jesus loves you, and wants to fuck you

before & after