Actually, can you start a sentence with the word actually? Actually, I am drinking from the bottle of wine I have sitting here as I don�t want to go into the kitchen to get a glass. I intend to finish this fucking bottle tonight. After all it is almost 2AM, why not start drinking at 1:45AM? Plus, how great would it be if I spilled red wine all over this white t-shirt? Then I would be hip. I have a fucking headache. It is sad why I have a headache, but whatever, nobody is perfect. I feel a little calmer today. There is something inside of me that comes out from day to day that I have no control over. Well I guess I do, I could just shut the fuck up. For a while I was deleting entries I wrote when I was �in that mood�, but that�s lame, so now, I can read some shit I write on here from time to time and laugh at myself I guess. I really have no reason to want to die, or no reason to want to kill people or what not, although it�s fun to play make pretend isn�t it? It�s a bit unfortunate that if you saw me walking down the street you would probably say �yeah that guy is mean�, but really I�m just as happy to sit here and listen to some nice Bill Evans Trio and drink a glass of red wine. I�m not a violent person at all, the last time I got in a fight I was 14 years old, seeing as I was born during the 2nd to last month of the 60�s, this was a long fucking time ago. Although, I imagine that if I were in the presence of these people, I might get violent�.and just what the fuck is the guy with the Sprite bottle wearing?

Today I had this meeting at work with some of the higher ups than me. Before it started they were talking about Jason Priestly, and the unfortunate accident he had over the weekend. I told them I heard they were going to have to close the Peach Pit for a week. 2 out of 7 people laughed (both girls).

When I need something done. I need to do it. I tell myself �If I make it over there before that car does, I will get married next year�. �If I get this wad of paper in the barrel from here, I will have sex tomorrow night�. When I see words, I count the letters. The Grateful Dead has 15 letters in it. You can split it up into 5 groups of 3 letters The Gra tef ulD ead. Or, you can just use Grateful Dead. This one is burned into my head now forever. I always split up Grateful Dead into groups of 4 when I have it inside my head. Grat eful Dead. It�s easy, see. I am always very nervous when someone is following me down the stairs, no matter how many times I�ve seen them naked, or how close to me they are. Every single morning, I wake up, go into the bathroom and flush the toilet, I use the toilet, flush the toilet, take a shower, and then flush the toilet when I come out. I wash my hands again before I leave for work. I do not take a sip of my coffee until at least ten minutes after I buy it, ever. As soon as I pass the tree with the strange branch on 128, I light my first cigarette of the morning (outside of the house). When I pass that grey two story house 3 minutes from my work, I light my 2nd cigarette. If I don�t light the cigarette exactly there, my morning at work won�t be the same. I won�t be fulfilled. A few times, I have turned around in the car, and went back to try it again. When I sleep I need to have one leg under the covers, and one out of the covers, or have no covers on at all. I can�t fall asleep with covers on in the winter. In the morning, I am more than willing to put the covers on though. Every night when I come home, I have to have the keys in my hand, and I flip them in my hand twice before I open the door. This only happens if I come home after 1AM. Whenever I meet someone new, I say their name over and over in my head, and out loud for weeks at a time so that I remember it. If I like the person a lot, I will say their name to them out of the blue continually. I can never sleep in a room that has a door open. I have to play an Emaj7 chord every time I pick up a guitar. I have never gone more than 48 hours without hearing at least one song by Louis �Satchmo� Armstrong in the past five years. I like to photograph meals I cook, and label and date them.

I�m tired, and a bit drunk now. I do not have OCD

if you live in the boston area, my band, presley is playing tuesday aug 13 at the skybar in somerville. That cute guy, Scanzilla is in the band too.

before & after