Fuck anything that isn�t a human being. So I got a muffin this morning from the coffee place this morning, as well as an undisclosed beverage I don�t need to discuss in public. Per usual, I didn�t drink the �XXXXXX� until I got to work. For some reason I need to not touch my �XXXXXX� until I get to work, letting it rest in the car before I open it and take it in. So I get this muffin, and just now, I�m sitting here listening to EPMD, and I take a bite of the muffin, and look down and what the fucking goddamn do I see?

Some little black thing with little things sticking out of if, I look closer, it�s the leg of some motherfucking fucking thing that lived in that muffin, and I may have eaten the rest of it�fuck! I ran into the bathroom and

I hate bugs, and I hate that they exist, and I hate veal cutlets, well, I hate the animals that make veal cutlets. You know, little baby kittens, or whatever they make veal out of, squirrel or something? I want to eat veal cutlets and think about that bug and his cousin.

My mind is so blank right now�I�ve been spending it writing some new words to sing once we start writing music, I think Dan has some new ideas, and I have a couple of new ideas for songs, so this is exciting. I want to keep making songs. My new lyrics seem to be more positive�hmmm. I think I got all of the words I needed out with this last CD. Anyway, when we originally came up with the idea to do this new CD, I looked over all of the lyrics I had written, and came up with the idea that we could link all of the songs together and have a them running through the CD. I�ve been listening to it in this sequence I came up with over and over since we got it, and I think it does work for the most part, anyway, here it is:

So this person has this idea, this idea that they are better than everyone else. They have morals and always know the right thing to say. They end up being the person that everyone looks to for comfort and support. The person sort of sees that everyone is kind of fucked up, but tries to put it in the back of his head. They choose to ignore the obvious problems of everyone around him like drinking, excessive drug use, etc. This is the ambulance drivers role I guess. This person then decides that they want to try to fit in with everyone, so they stoop down to the level of everyone else, or go �down the stairs, on the right�. They start experimenting with drugs, and alcohol but it�s not really working for them. They try and understand what the fuck the big deal is, and then realize it�s just useless. This is when the person starts losing some patience. They stop talking to everyone around them, or �stop singing�, hence the instrumental �RCP-90�, and the amount of just plain music on the CD right around here. The person comes back around and starts calling all their friends again, and they pretty much tell him to fuck off. Trying to get back into a community of friends, and seeing all of the bullshit, and telling them how great you are doing, and how they have no idea what they�re doing, etc. The person then pulls one of the folks he cares a whole lot about and tries to pry then for information, as they think this person may be a good romantic interest. This person basically tells them they don�t think it�s a good idea, and besides they aren�t capable of being close to anyone anyway. He then decides to just go ahead and start getting fucked up all the time. His soul pretty much disappears thanks to the people around him who are like magicians, just like Doug Henning. He now needs to run away and get away from everything, or so he thinks. Upon leaving he realizes that he�s having the same issues he had when he was home, so he comes home quickly and decides he is going to get his shit together, and see if people around him have changed much. He realizes his friendship to certain people back at home is secondary to getting fucked up, sort of like how Art Garfunkel was secondary to Paul Simon. The first thing he wants to do is just rest and get his shit together. He then finds out that everyone around him, or all the women in his life anyway, have been lying to him all along. It�s not that they weren�t able to get close with other people, it was him all along. He was just na�ve. He goes to sleep and has a dream about this beautiful girl. It�s in this forest, on this long path with giant trees hanging over it. It�s obviously a dream as this girl is too beautiful for words, so he basically tells her it�s definitely not a good idea to even look at her. She pretty much laughs at him and says �I didn�t want you anyway, the best thing would be for me to walk away, and not lead you on�. At this point, he�s done with people, he realizes he�s only going to be happy by himself. His friend that he tried to help and pull out of hell is not receptive to his help at all, and he realizes he�s wasted all of this time and energy when he could have been just spending it by himself and not even needing to have contact around him. That�s the basic idea anyway, including the samples we used, and the way the music feels. I think it works, and I hope that people get it when they listen to it.

I love air conditioning and all, but right now I�m freezing my ass off�

before & after