When do you get to figure out that you can trust someone finally? I have no gauge for this at this point in my life. Whereas I�ve had no luck with trust in the past, I generally don�t trust people, women more than men. Perhaps I�m getting involved with the wrong women? Either way. I can�t take many people seriously when they tell me something, as I think back to everything that�s happened in the past. I�m surprised anyone trusts me too. I don�t give anything away really. They tell me they can�t read me, all of them. I don�t know if this is a benefit for me, or if it is working against me. I�m generally never an open book, and I�d hate to think that anyone who knows me gets all of my ideas and opinions out of here, as it�s not close really. I like to make things up. But I like to make things up in real life. I�ve been told way too many stories, and had too many girls just bullshit their way around me to give a fuck who I�m lying to, and who I�m being truthful to. Evidently, I have a big mouth according to some birds. I have ideas in my head that I can pull some strings and get things happening. This always backfires, and I end up the asshole. Right now, I want to forget about everything, and leave the area for the rest of my life. There�s 2 things I enjoy here right now. The rest is frosting, vanilla frosting. If I had my way, I would tear this old building down.

But, on the other hand, it�s nice and cool in here, I had a good weekend, and I don�t think I�ve been happier in my life than I am right this second. So what�s this all about? Some woman in a Lexus cut me off this morning, so I have to come here and tell stories about it in some way or another. The only way to do that? Confusion. Giving the wrong directions to my house. Drawing attention to other things. Persuasion. The only way to express my anger nowadays is to talk shit. why not? I�m allowed, eh?

I only tell the truth when I�m happy. Confused yet?

before & after