Soundtrack � new order/power, corruption, and lies

The quote of the weekend so far: �When do you turn 12?� Hampton Beach, NH 5:23PM EST. Dan and I made a trek up there this afternoon and literally sat in traffic for 3 hours. I could have stayed home and watched those game shows on the Disney Channel if I really wanted to feel like a pedophile. I wouldn�t have spent as much on gas, and I could have switched between that and a Road Rules Marathon or whatever.

We met at the bar at 9:30, I was out of there by 10:55. I wasn�t in the mood for drinking beer, talking, or looking at women tonight. The bar was empty, and so weren�t our collective heads it seemed. I left the boys when they decided to try another places where more women would be. I decided to come home where more men are. Fuck, I can sit here with Charlie Parker, Brian Wilson, Mick Fucking Jagger, John Zorn, Miles, Satchmo, Ozzy Osbourne, Hubert Selby, Nelson Algren, Henry Miller, all these men are always here for me. The girl at the bar with the hoop earrings, button down shirt (with tank top underneath), and penetrating blue eyes isn�t always going to be here for me. So I don�t want to even see her. The girls that look at me at the bar are probably looking at me because they want to see what the guy looks like that hangs out with those cute guys.

Rosemary Clooney died, perhaps not my favorite singer in the world, but she lived a LIFE. Her story is enough to make me not complain that I�m fucked up. Track down her story, I�m sure there�ll be a capsulated obituary somewhere online.

I don�t know how I feel about the Who continuing their tour without John Entwistle. Immediately after hearing of John�s death, I threw on Live at Leeds, which opens with my vote for best �first song on a live record this side of �Detroit Rock City� from Kiss Alive II�, Heaven and Hell, which was suing by Entwistle:

On top of the sky is a place where you go if you've done nothing wrong,

If you've done nothing wrong.

And down in the ground is a place where you go if you've been a bad boy,

If you've been a bad boy.

Why can't we have eternal life,

And never die,

Never die?

In the place up above you grow feather wings and you fly round and round,

With a harp singing hymns.

And down in the ground you grow horns and a tail and you carry a fork,

And burn away.

Why can't we have eternal life, And never die,

Never die?

I don�t think I�d see the band at this point�especially seeing how much they charge for concerts. What the fuck does $100 pay for anyway. Okay, I�m a fucker who bought tickets to see the Rolling Stones, but that�s because I love them more than any band pretty much, and have never seen them. But looking through some old ticket stubs, I was surprised as shit. Without further ado, the best bargains I�ve ever seen for my money in the live music realm:

1) depeche mode � wang center 6/1/86 � $17.50

2) the cure - Worcester centrum 8/7/87 - $16.50

3) throwing muses � Somerville theatre, 5/20/95 � free

4) fugazi � anytime

5) seven seconds/the f.u�s - paradise 10/13/84 - $5.00

6) the smiths � great woods 8/5/86 - $16.50

7) ozzy osbourne/metallica � Worcester centrum 4/25/86 - $15.00

8) siouxsie and the banshees � Orpehum Theatre, 5/16/86 $14.00

9) husker du/soul asylum � The Paradise 2/4/86 $5.50

10 ) new order/Pil/sugarcubes � great woods, 7/10/89 � free

11) judas priest � Worcester centrum � 3/26/84 $14.00

12) Cocteau twins/galaxie 500 � Walter Brown Arena � 4/3/91 $9.50

13) Kiss � LA Forum 1978, free, well, my parents took us�

Every ticket is now 40 friggin dollars, and the CD�s are more expensive. It�s funny, I work at a record label, and the pay is shit generally speaking for everyone there, and I know how much CD�s actually cost us to produce. I know why the owner drives that Lexus SUV now! Fuck a fuck.

I�m becoming increasingly impatient as the days go on. I generally believe, fuck. I�m getting a more a impatient a by a the a day a now. Just bored with the routine and the routine and the routine and the routine and the routine and the routine and the routine and the routine and the routine and the routine and the routine and the routine and the routine and the routine and the routine and the routine and the routine and the routine and the routine and the routine and the routine and the routine and the routine and the routine and the routine and the routine and the routine and the routine and the routine and the routine and the routine and the routine and the routine and the routine and the routine and the routine and the routine and the routine and the routine and the routine and the routine and the routine and the routine and the routine and the routine and the routine and the routine and the routine and the routine and the routine and the routine and the routine and the routine and the routine and the routine and the routine and the routine and the routine and the routine and the routine and the routine and the routine and the routine and the routine and the routine and the routine and the routine and the routine and the routine and the routine and the routine and the routine and the routine and the routine and the routine and the routine and the routine makes me need to shut this shit down now motherfucker!

On the way home from the bar, I wanted to stop by the disatster�s work and tell her to fuck off. You know how you get those visions of walking into �that fucking place and causing a scene�. I felt like doing that tonight. I felt like telling her how I feel. I guess when I continue to just not be there for her, when she�s truly, truly down, that will hold the same weight�.if she notices. I can�t count on anyone for anything anyway. As an experiment, a while back I asked everyone I know for a little favor, or something. As of now, after a few reminders here and there, and some not, nothing has been fulfilled. Nobody listens to anything you say. It�s kind of funny.

I smashed my hammer into the elbow of the guy with the anchor, and nautical stars tattoos, not before I removed his Saucony�s and bashed the balls of his feet in first. �Social Distortion can collectively suck my cock!!� I screamed at him.

After finding out his wife Denise was fucking �that dude dave from 7-11�, Martin got in his car and drove as far west as he could. As soon as he reached Texas, he called his parents and told them he loved them very much.

I remember Tara and I fucked for the first time in years while listening to Abbey Road. How cheesy. I had spent months trying to wow her back into my arms with obscure Stones outtakes, and late night tampon runs, and I end up becoming this tired clich�. I made sure I brought my copy of Let it Bleed over the next night.

I have a stomach ache at 3:44 AM EST, so I keep on smoking cigarettes, drinking iced coffee, and flipping between soft core porn movie on cable. That�s my cue.

before & after