I just woke from the strangest dreams all night. I wanted to come on here and write about them, but now I can�t remember them. Lot�s of strange faces of people I know. I think I was in heaven, or hell. My muscles are aching, my neck especially. I have no clue why.

I stayed in last night, I like staying in on Saturday nights. One of the dreams involved me coming in and out of an old movie theatre. I went out for twenty minutes and rushed home. In the rawest form of it, this is where people bug me the most. The lack of care taken when driving in a car. It really makes me understand why there is road rage. There are times where I want nothing more to just get out of my car and shoot someone over and over in the face in front of their children or whatever to end the selfish, uncourteous lifestyle that their parent lives. This is the main reason I don�t like leaving this house in the daylight, or in the early evening.

I picked up the guitar last night to work on some of the new stuff I wrote. I threw the guitar across the room as I can�t play it right now. My fingers, I did something to the left hand which is making it hard. I threw the songs I was writing out too, as they were too upbeat and nice sounding. I don�t want to play anything fast and upbeat. I don�t even know why I joined the band again, I don�t really care either way what happens. Perhaps Dan and Breaux will start booking shows. I�m pretty much done with that aspect of the band at this point. I don�t like calling and e-mailing people over and over, it�s a waste of my time. Maybe we can be one of those bands that just records and never plays out. My ultimate goal would be to have something with no boundaries, and eventually no vocals. I really, really hate singing, and I hate writing lyrics. Ugh. I think I need another week off from playing as my finger does hurt, even to type this is annoying. The ironic thing of this is, I think I did something to it when lifting aarne�s amp into my car the night we loaded out for the gig we didn�t play.

Going away in a few days again. Looking forward to this, as I like the road trip. It�s looking like I may be taking the drive home alone from Pennsylvania, which is kind of cool. I like driving the long distances by myself, it�s much more relaxing in a way, and you can play the music louder as you don�t have to have conversations with anyone.

One of the dreams had me sneaking in and out of movie theatres with nothing playing on the screens.

I watched that video of the Wall Street Journal guy being murdered last night. It�s pretty brutal I guess, but I�ve seen worse. I�m intrigued by real footage of people dying for some reason. Maybe in my head I think �one less person to piss me off on the way to work�. I doubt that though, as this guy seemed pretty innocent and scared shitless. There is no reason why we shouldn�t just drop a nuclear bomb on that whole area, as well as the middle east. If they really want to be sent to Heaven to be with Allah, I think America should finally give them that ticket they need to get there. They�re like a bunch of little kids fighting over a bag of candy.

Why do people make their objectives so obvious? Why do they make things so easy for me? They make it hard for me to like them. I am still breathing as far as I can tell. The weaklings around here though, they are funny and pathetic. Crying and moaning all night long wondering where their orgasm creating device is. Wondering where they fucked up. Isn�t it obvious that nobody loves a crazy boy/girl? I mean if you ask me, I think the choices of boys and girls the people I know get involved with are horribly mismatched. It�s no wonder it�s so hard for people to get over someone.

It�s Sunday morning, and I pretty much have nothing to say so�

before & after