Oh Joy!
2001-08-29 || you should eat the hamburger Gino,,,,,
Soundtrack � John Hartford � Hamilton Ironworks

So I am sick right now. Well, not really �sick�, but my nose is stuffy, and my throat is a little bit sore. I�m assuming some asshole got me sick somewhere along the line. I�d like to find that cocksucker and cut their arms, as well as their nose off. Anyway, I haven�t been �sick� since the winter of 1997. I have no clue how I can go so long without getting sick, I don�t live the healthiest lifestyle. I think it�s because most cocksuckers probably feel a little but under the wind and they are �SICK!!!� �Oh god, I can�t go into work today I feel SICK� I think I generally feel �sick� every day of my life, so when something like my current condition happens, I actually feel �SICK�, well �sick� I�m not one to go on and tell every one about how sick and miserable I am like most people do. I assume that the folks that are sick all through winter and that kind of thing most likely tend to have sex with people of the same sex. Since I follow the word of the almighty Jesus �I am a powerful motherfucking cocksucker� Christ, I don�t get sick that often. If I do know you in person, and you do become sick soon, or this winter, do me a favor, don�t even fucking tell me, your little cocksucking self should just get a bottle of juice and deal with the shit. I certainly don�t want to hear it. Joke: What�s the definition of a sick person? A non-heterosexual person with a sore throat. I remember being sick in 1997 now. I was hanging out with this group of people that was a fucking plethora of freaks. Inter-racial babies, non-heterosexuals, gothic chicks, and the like. I guess I felt a little out of place, as I am a heterosexual, one-race loving, white clothes wearing guy. So we were doing a shit load of drugs over the winter, and I think all the germ sharing got me sick, as we were all sick. Imagine what a pathetic group of cocksuckers we looked like a chick with an inter-racial baby, a non heterosexual, a gothic chick, and me sick as a cocksucker. I hated that whole winter. I made some good friends for a couple of months anyway. I don�t see any of them anymore though. I think I stopped when we started talking about vampires. I mean I�m okay with inter-racial babies, non-heterosexuals, and gothic chicks, but you start talking about vampires, or star wars and fucking science fiction cocksucking stuff I start to picture these acne covered boys with oily hair not having sex with a woman without paying for it, and star trek conventions. Joke: What�s the difference between a Star Wars fan and a Star Trek fan? Absofuckinglutely nothing, they are both non-heterosexual people with no taste in anything. So these people I hung with, the inter-racial baby having chick, the non-heterosexual, the gothic chick all sort of had their own other people they would bring in here and there. The other people were even more freaky. Chicks with real short hair bringing to mind words like �diesel� in my head, guys with fucking blue and purple hair. I�m sorry but white people are real fucking dumb. Look at them! They have no sense of fashion whatsoever (unless you are talking about Black Sabbath, who always looked good). These gothic fucks were so fucking dumb looking, I just wanted to grab the nearest wood stick and start beating head in. The cool thing about that is, those cocksuckers sort of look dead anyway, so nobody would really notice. Joke: Why did the goth cross the road? So he could get smashed in the mother fucking teeth with an aluminum softball bat. Who knows what I was thinking when I hung with this crew of motley fools, what I should have done was dosed them all with roofies and stole their wallets. What would a goth have in their wallet? A license, and a vampire ID card? A business card for a piercing/tattoo place? A hit of shitty acid? My fingerprints from stealing every cocksucking thing out of it, that�s what you would find in a goth persons wallet after I dosed them with roofies and stole their shit. I don�t fucking care I�ll steal from a priest if I need a mother fucking cheeseburger! I think that I saw someone yesterday that would have fit in with the group of people I was just talking about. I was driving home from work and I see one of these fucking non-heterosexuals with a �boycott veal� sticker on his car or some shit like that. Who the fuck are these people that think they can tell a motherfucker what he can and cannot eat? Fuck that, that veal cutlet sandwich they used to have at Burger King was the shit. I love me some fucking veal, that shit is tasty. The most tasty thing about a mother fucking veal cutlet, is the fact that it�s from a baby cow that was locked in a little fucking box. Breed those little cocksuckers to be nice and fucking lean for lucky mother fuckers like me who enjoy good food, not fucking lettuce and feta fucking cheese and fucking fallafal and non-heterosexual food like that. What the fuck you expect a mother fucker to live off chick peas for his life. Bring me that baby cow right here, I�ll take a fucking bite out of it�s neck before I kill the mother fucker with an aluminum baseball bat. Joke: How do you know someone is a vegetarian? They walk out of a non-heterosexual bar such as Fran�s Place, or the Ramrod. I think I might play a joke on some of my vegetarian friends at some point. Maybe hold some sort of party, and make a bunch of food. Make some �veggie bean dip� for chips, but what it will really have will be plenty of beans, and plenty of ground up veal. Now THAT would be something. Then you would see how these mother fuckers would enjoy veal instead of the usual bullshit line �ummm, meat makes me sick now, I can�t eat it� Give me a fucking break, it�s not meat that�s making you sick it�s all the fucking man sap you vegetarians are swallowing. Give me a fucking veal cutlet motherfucking sandwich with extra fucking bacon, and yo, have that broad with the huge tits and long blonde hair bring it to me, pronto!

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