I feel like we reached a new level this evening at rehearsal. Heather came by to watch tonight, and she heard a couple of the new songs, and then she heard the song Donald Fagen (that was written for her a while back actually�) �for 55 minutes. It�s a shame that we haven�t been recording the improvisation lately. I wouldn�t have imagined I would be able to be in a band and jam for an hour straight and keep it interesting for most of the time. For those in the know (Jeremy) I would say tonight had a very �Worcester Jim� feel to it, in that it had peaks and valleys all over the place, and it left me feeling exhausted and high at the same time. I almost feel like we should have two different bands. As I�d love to play all of our songs in front of people just normal. I�d also like to take people on the journey. The journey is where you go when you reach a certain point in a jam I guess. I can�t really explain it better than you just zone out and become immersed in music and sounds. Tonight had a very My Bloody Valentine/Pink Floyd thing going on I think. I look forward to recording this and giving out copies to people I like. Like Sarah, who I promised hours of music for months now. I will send her one on the way home from the studio : ) As well as any of the folks I�ve met here in Diaryland, you know who you are�I�m proud of what we�ve accomplished so far, and it feels so young right now. I want to share it with everyone.

Sometimes I miss what people are saying. Sometimes I send people the wrong vibe. I send people the wrong messages. I get the wrong messages all the time. I have gotten worse in my old age I guess. I can never tell when something is going to happen. I try not to send the wrong signals, but I end up doing it and put in a rut. I see Mr. Hyde peak out now and then. I keep him away. For good examples of him read any thing in here from the summer time, say June-September. That Mr. Hyde, he comes out now and again, ready to piss someone off. Act irrational, act like an asshole, piss everyone off, including myself for being a fool. It�s funny how you can turn yourself into a fool overnight. It�s funny how I can go from hot to cold. Literally. It feels good to be alive right now. Work goes well, the band goes well, the love life goes well, everything sort of worked out I guess. Random people have said it in all different areas too. Sarah said it, as well as my boss. I guess I have been exerting better vibes to people. I hate my depressions I suffer from time to time. Almost a continuos stream of bad emotions, and feelings coming out day to day. Right now though I feel content with everyone around me and everything. Once I realized it�s half over for me practically, I wanted to try and live positive. I guess once you want that, it happens. Try it.

It�s tired, and I�m late.

before & after