I�m going through a Stones phase again, sue me.

What a long boring weekend, again I get into this mood and I don�t want to hear a word of difference from anyone. I can�t think of better words to describe how I feel about females right now other than: unnecessary, useless, etc. I�m not going to sit around and just wait for people anymore, I�ve had enough of everyone and I could really care less what direction anyone goes at this point, from here on out, it�s all about me, and for you reader, it�s all about bullshit, fuck everyone, twice�this is exactly how I feel right now:

Ready to kill someone, or myself. I really have nothing to come home to everyday, I fuck things up at work, when I actually do work, I have no money right now, I waste money on things I don�t need. I don�t care about peoples feelings in even the slightest bit, I don�t want to do anything anyone else wants to do, I just want to do things that I want to do, and things that are going to benefit me. Again, it�s evident that I can�t count on anyone but myself in the long run, I�m going to be the only one here later on, I�m not letting anyone take the wheel. I�m not giving any information out to anyone, as it just doesn�t matter anymore. I look forward to the holidays coming up, lot�s of people from the past showing up on the doorstep. Lot�s of fucking cheer from the peanut gallery. Relationships, or building them rather, is a complete waste of my time right now, and for the rest of my life. I hate physical contact with people. It�s overrated. I don�t want to be touched, don�t fucking touch me please. I am physically unhealthy more than I�ve ever been, and will probably die within the next five years if I�m lucky.

Today it was rainy out, it�s funny how different one feels when it�s rainy out. It�s a different feeling from the sunny days. I feel like the above paragraph probably every other day right now. Up and down. Right now, I feel pretty good. I guess that�s an example of the things that do go through my head day to day. Either way, today I came to a realization, I used to like when people would say things like �I can never tell what you�re thinking�, so I�ve decided to take that part of my personality back, something having a public diary takes away, so from now on, I will be completely full of shit; I don�t want anyone to know what I�m thinking, especially my friends who read this. In the meantime, save this entry, and if anyone wants to know what I�m thinking, please refer to it. Thanks. And now, I go tap dancing.

before & after