Oh Joy!
2000-09-13 || pee pee mouth
Soundtrack � Coleman Hawkins � At ease

Im surrounded by fuckheads. Women that I just can�t fucking deal with. That don�t get the fucking picture. Girls that are about as exciting to talk to as a fucking piece of bread. I can�t let her in on anything now. I am going to lie now. Lord knows I am so good at lying at this point in my life that half of the time I don�t know if I�m telling the truth or what the hell I�m doing. Whatever the case, they all either hurt me somehow, or just don�t fucking listen to a word I say. They listen to others. They listen to their seminars and books and crystals. We all know where that shit gets you though. I don�t want these stupid fucking messages from her anymore. I don�t want these visits to mean anything. And I especially am not doing any favors in the least bit. I have nothing to fucking say. I have nothing to give. Nothing is what I feel for you. I felt nothing for you before and I feel nothing for you now. I lied to you. I lied to your fucking face that day. I lied because my cock told me to lie to a woman. Sorry I�m using such profane language with you, but I think this is what it might take, since you are so clean cut and all. But believe me, I lied. I could lie right now and say I�m sorry. But what�s the point? I lie all the time. I lie to everyone. It�s the way to go right now, and it has been with you ever since I met you. You know absolutely not one fucking thing about me, and you don�t get the what the word �no� means. You don�t get hints. The new hints are going to just be the word �NO�. Not beating around the bush. Fine I won�t lie to you anymore, I don�t like you, I don�t want to fuck you, and I don�t want to tell you one bit about myself.

It�s warm out today. Sort of reminds me of the beginning of summer out there today. The sun is shining bright, and my legs were warm sitting outside with all the pigeons in the park. Right before I sat down a girl came out of the convenient store and I didn�t get a close enough look, but it looked like this girl who I used to have a big crush on a few years ago. She worked at a pharmacy near where I was working. I used to go in there a whole bunch. Buying up aspirin and cotton balls and all sorrts of strange stuff. A mutual friend of mine actually had gone to school with her, and she apparenty urinated on someone or in someones mouth, something filthy like that, at a party. Anyway, I think I just saw her. Not sure if she�s still peeing in peoples mouths though. What a trip. So I know of two people that have done something similar to that. Both women. I wonder what could possibly go through someones head besides �I�m knocking myself out here, look at me� doing that. So if I know two people that have done this, I can�t imagine how many there are in the world! Watersports.Thanks, but no thanks.

I have work to do and someone to say �no� to.


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