Oh Joy!
2000-09-11 || I can't place the face, sorry
Soundtrack � Miles Davis � Miles To Go

Ha, I feel like I have miles to go before I get anywhere tonight. Especially with this writing thing tonight. So I went out with Annu earlier, and had some good conversations about her �situation�, and my nonexistent �situations�. No drama for me right now to report. Except for what�s invented inside my head, which is 99% of the time. I hate to go back on words, as I would just be a liar, but I can�t deny the fact that there are a lot, a ton of vague faces in my head whenever I talk about anyone, especially here, in public, for strangers and friends to see. I can�t be that honest most of the time. I can�t name drop on a daily basis, especially when I get so many images and stories concocted in my head. Whatever the case, there�s a whole deal of imaginary friends in my words here. I can�t take these things serious anymore. There situations with friends and enemies and girls and crushes and fooling around with this one and that one. I don�t want any of these little snares in my way. It took up way too much room with me before, now I have so many other things to think about that are making me feel �busy� that it would be regressive of me to even start getting mentally challenged right now. I guess it all boils down to not really listening anymore. Shit I say this more and more, but since conversations with people nowadays are more bland than white bread, I feel that just letting things go in one ear and out the other is better. Everyone has some new idea to sell. Some new emotion they want me to know about that is being worked at that moment. When it comes down to it, I end up feeling like a telephone. Call me for 99 cents a minute. Either that or they have nothing to say at all. The same stories about how fucked up this person was the other night. Wait, isn�t that person fucked up enough as it is? A good exercise for me is Zen ADD This is when you are talking to someone and you don�t hear a word they are saying as you are concentrating on absolutely nothing, yet you�re mindful. That makes no sense written down, but I swear it�s�refreshing. As much as I think about it�..I feel sick all of a fucking sudden now. Fuck.

before & after