Oh Joy!
2000-08-29 || winters with you
You would probably disagree, but the best night was the night we didn�t really talk much. I can remember it like it was tonight, or last night. The night we sat on the couch and stared at the walls, and stared at each other, and felt completely comfortable. That night is etched in my brain for good now. It feels good to remember back to it every now and again. The night I discovered just how powerful your eyes were. The night I realized it was correct, regardless of what you or anyone for that matter thought. I never talked about it with you. It was snowing. It was cold that night, but I felt like I was on fire with you. I felt like it was the first time I actually studied everything about you. I learned every little nuance about you that night. I learned the easy way just how good you felt to look at. How easy it was to win staring contests against you. You didn�t complain about my not talking that night. You felt just like I did. At least I think you did. You would probably disagree that it was no big deal. It really did feel like the time to do it all right there. To let it all go down. It did though, it all went down that night. It was the only time it was ever like that. It was the first time and last time it felt like that. It was the only time I try and remember now. Everything else brings out pain and misery. Everything else is just a little bit�blah. You probably don�t even remember it now. If I brought this up to you now would you remember it at all? If I told you this was the night I loved you. The only night I was in love with you would you know what I was talking about. Or did you only remember the arguments, and fights, and dry spells? Either way, I remember the night. A cold night, you held my arm walking on the slippery, icy sidewalk going out to the car when I took you home. You looked so cute bundled up and breathing fog all over my face when I opened the door and locked you in. You rubbed your little black gloves vigorously on your legs, and I took them into my hands and warmed them. We loved the winter. Why do you deny that we loved the loneliness and desolation of the winter? We had each other. Every day practically we had each other. You never told me what the best night was for you. I know mine. Please tell me yours. I don�t want to live knowing you never had a favorite time with me. I can�t live with that. Was it this night? No talking, just you and I�and snow�and Mick Jagger. Under the pretense that we were in love I felt I didn�t need to say a word. I hope this was okay. I hope this made your night as much as it did mine.

before & after