Oh Joy!
2000-08-25 || bartenders and rapists
So I get this thing in the mail the other day, a letter I guess. One piece of paper. It just says �Fuck You� on it. Aside from laughing I made myself a nice little desk decoration for myself that I get to look at from time to time. It�s nice to see someone shares my attitude and cares about what I like and want from day to day. I just want to fuck people that�s all. Yeah that�s it. In the sexual sense, and in the �you�re fucked now!� sense. I forget things that bother me, or things that I was going to complain about �oh yeah, by the way, I was pissed at you about this��. This CD sounds good right now, I like this band, the Get Up Kids, and I hate to say it, but this newer record is 80 times better than the first one. I�m in the mood again today. The more things linger around, the more peoples faces show up in my mind, the more I want to yell and scream. I am now just ready to pack a suitcase and move out. Move my thoughts out. I make threats, I make comments that I think are right, but I really know it�s not like that. I make comments about everything and everybody, and guess what, I�m always correct. Always. My intuition is very sharp right now. My predictions are always on spot. When you�re dealing with rapists and bartenders, this is what it�s all about though. Easy like a Dick and Jane book. Watch Spot cartch the ball. Watch Dick fuck Jane like a dog. Watch Jane scream like Spot. Out of sight. My favorite part of the story is when the guy walks down the long road with the bag slung over his shoulders as the girl stands there in disbelief. The curtain closes and everyone gets up and claps at how great a story it was. �It was a story� they all tell themselves, not knowing of any facts. He gets the best supporting actor nomination, she gets the best actress nomination. Neither of them show up for the ceremony though. Nobody lived happily ever after, so what would be the point? It�s the point of the story I guess. The theme of the story. Nobody got it. Everyone was fooled. Nobody knew they couldn�t take him seriously for more than a minute. They thought he was down to earth. He was on the same page right? He never commited crimes against girls. He never kissed lips, he always kissed souls and hearts. He never fucked anything but an open book. He tried to show his good sides to every one, they see the good side, they see the fake �I�m humoring you right now� side of him. They have no clue that he�s the one that just wants to put his hand out to shake it, he wants to help them out of the water. They really don�t believe they need it. Desperation shows up in late night phone calls, desperation is evident in the way people look at him, desperation is the feeling that overcomes him on the weekend. He has not a shred of desperation in him, he watches the desperation and realizes it will sell tickets like nobodys business. Nobody knows the trouble he�s seen. He likes to watch with clear eyes when he�s out and about. He likes to set up the game plan. It always happens though, he asks that question: �Wait, what the fuck am I doing? Let�s go home now�

before & after