I have things arranged exactly how I want them to be in here. I have systems. I have plans with things I don�t utilize anymore. There�s all sorts of objects to keep me busy. Nothing much to talk about in here. Nothing to talk about in here that anyone could ever find remotely interesting. I have plans for everything. I map shit out every night. This will be there tomorrow. This would make me feel much more comfortable, if it were over there instead. With that said, things don�t always go as planned. I get mental pictures in my head of exactly how a night will be. I picture exactly how it will feel. When I�ll finally give up for the night. I surrender, here�s my wallet, keys and cigarettes, take me home. I have these photographs sitting inside my head all day and all night of exactly how I want it to be at any given time. This shit never pans out. These pictures always look so distorted when looked at on the outside. Or when you get a final print. I have code words for all of these plans. I have systems and codes for all of this. I am tempted to take it all out and just smash it to pieces. This could never make any sense to another person, so I�ll stop right there.

So there�s a secret society. A society nobody ever sees�until today of course. A secret group of people that I am on to. I shouldn�t even bring it up here, as I could be killed for bringing it up. So you�re driving down the street any given day. Any city in the country, any state, any county, any road. There�s a tree. Just a normal tree sitting there. On the bottom of the tree leans a hubcap. Normal looking hubcap. Nothing special. Is there anything ever special about a hubcap though? Doubtful. I see these all over the place. It�s not a hubcap that rolled there and landed like that. I see them constantly. There is a group of people that do this. They set them up as some sort of signal. What it is I have no clue. Is it a signal that signifies �okay, this tree is okay to teleport from�?, �the house behind this tree has no people in it, come in and steal things now�, �you may land your UFO over there in the backyard�. Whatever it is, I�m on to them, and I�m prepared to find out everything possible about it. So today I�m driving home from work, and what do I see? Some guy with dark sunglasses in a white t-shirt walking over to a tree with a hubcap in his hand. I was going fast with the flow of traffic and couldn�t stop, but I watched him in the rearview mirror bring it over. Tomorrow morning on the way in to work, I will stop my car and move it to another tree I think. Perhaps some guy will see me and give me �the signal�. Either that or the planet will be invaded with gigantic evil radioactive creatures that spit acid at humans and suck electricity out of light bulb sockets. If that happens tomorrow, I�m sorry everyone. It�s my fault. Kill me.

I still feel bored, anxious and always �ready to come home� when I�m out. I felt it tonight. Just a boring night. I don�t know, out being social is just�boring. I couldn�t enjoy the couple of drinks I had tonight. I couldn�t really enjoy much tonight. Perhaps I�m getting old, yeah that�s it. I�m getting old. I don�t have problems. I don�t have issues like the newsstand.

I have no tired words about girls tonight. I�m done with anything important. Fuck.

before & after