I need water. Yes that's exactly what I need. I'm not really sure how people drink. How are you supposed to keep up? I have no real clue. I went out again tonight, had a couple of drinks. I figured it out. I'm just jealous of people that can drink every night, or every other night. Yeah that's definitely it. Just saying you need a glass of water is not going to do the trick unless you actually get up and get yourself a drink of water. Okay much better, now I just feel like I'm going to vomit all over the screen, not pass out on the bed over there. So yeah, looking at the few pathetic people hanging out in the bar prancing around with drink in hand does make me laugh to myself. I got drunk last night. Couldn't do it tonight though. There is no way I can do it like that. I'm just not cut out to be one of them. Good for me. Good job kid. You made it to this day and age without being typical. Without being a robot like them all. Here's a gold star. I drank last night for a silly personal reason. I know exactly why I drank last night. Nobody else knows. Although it's not hard to figure out why a shy boy like myself would drink and try to get himself into a more exciting social setting for an evening. I ended it as soon as I began it though. Coming home and talking about things is much more fun. Well, not really, but I felt good last night. Starting at 10:42 PM EST I felt good last night. Just as I did on October 11th of last year, and just as I did last night. A good night. Phone calls are being made as I speak. Am I speaking to myself now? Yes, I'm finally speaking to myself here. No more beating around the bush to try and get to some point. I got it out of my system last night. You may now return to your regular scheduled program....I look forward to being drunk and belligerent next weekend as well. Sure. The eyes are the window to the soul. Did you know that? I heard that before, wasn't sure if that was true. Well, to me, it's the eyes are the windows to my soul. They get me here and there. The eyes. The mouths. I get addicted to women so easy. I look too much at the eyes of them all. I can't look them in the eye. But I look at their eyes all the time. Well I try my best to make the contact, but if they are out to kill me like that, I need to look away. Watery eyes. Man fuck this lazy ass lifestyle, I'm going to sleep.....Again, this isn't me. Don't pay attention. Watch the calender, watch the days go by. That's me, not this.

before & after