Oh Joy!
2000-07-17 || Charlie and Darlene sitting in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G
I landed on the ice with a giant �thud�, and got up immediately. I think I had been running but I�m not sure when I think back to that night. Charlie wanted to catch up with me this night, but I wouldn�t let him. I ran, and ran, and ran. Charlie always had a slew of questions to ask me. Charlie always wanted me to tell him a story �from the old days�. I liked Charlie, but he was just too much sometimes. Charlie always wanted me to lend him a cigarette, although he never gave back the �lent� cigarettes I gave him. Charlie was never in love from what I can tell. He was always telling me of some girl he was with the night before, but I was never interested. In retrospect I guess I should have been a bit nicer to Charlie. Charlie pushed. Charlie outright bugged me most of the time. I don�t think many people knew of Charlie. I never told my friends about Charlie, or the day I met him in the coffee shop. Charlie was sitting at the stool two over from me, and when the large construction man left, Charlie introduced himself. I had seen Charlie around my building, but had no clue he lived in it. In fact, he lived right below me. I didn�t really pay attention to anyone there, except for the couple next to me, whom I HAD to pay attention to because they were so loud. Arnold and Louise, what a fucking couple they were. So anyway, this particular night, it was raining, which made the ice on the ground even more slick than it was. I was coming home from my friends� place where we had just watched television for five hours straight. Charlie saw me tun our corner, and started in with the questions. What's up? You staying up? Every once and a while I would let Charlie in and we would hang out and get high. Tonight I wanted to go to bed right away. I�m going to bed Charlie. I�m not doing anything tonight Charlie. I started yelling a little. I�m GOING IN CHARLIE! Charlie kept at it. I started running down the street in fear at this point. After the thud on the ice, I made my way into the apartment building. Charlie came to the door five minutes after I got in. Can I come in? Just for a minute. Charlie was in love apparently. He had mentioned this one girl a bunch of times, but I had never paid attention. I hadn�t been in love in three years, so I guess I was a bit jealous of Charlie. I all of a sudden felt a little compassion for Charlie, and listened to him. Hey remember the time you told me you fell in love with that girl, and she turned out to be your cousin? Yes I remember that Charlie. Remember you told me that it was much bigger than love, and that every time you were with her you felt like she was a part of you? Yes I remember that Charlie. That�s how I feel right now. Who is she Charlie? Her name is Darlene, and she works at the pizza place up the street. Oh, I think I know who you�re talking about, you�ve mentioned her before right? I offered Charlie a cigarette. He said he was quitting. Your loss I snapped. Darlene obviously doesn�t smoke I take it? Yes, she does. Oh. I�m going to marry her. You are? Yes, I think I am. The horoscope says I probably will. And that�s a good source of information for you Charlie? It never lies to me. How come every time I look at it Charlie, I ignore it if it doesn�t say anything good, and when it does, I ignore it anyway? The next morning Charlie was on his way to the store when he dropped in the middle of the street. It seems a brain tumor fell him. I guess in retrospect Charlie was a good man, he just bugged me a bit too much. The one night when I finally let him have his night with me he dies the next day. I visited the pizza place after Charlie died to see Darlene. She�s at home with her husband the guy behind the counter told me. It turns out that Charlie was indeed in love with Darlene, but this was news to Darlene. Charlie wanted so bad to have love in his life but was denied it over and over, so he made up stories. I miss Charlie. I have no love either, and Charlie had some love, he seemed to love me, but I had none of it to give him when he was alive. My friends now have all gone on and pursued their dreams of moving out of this city, and into homes with their wives, and girlfriends. Today I went down to the coffee shop and sat at the counter next to this policeman. After he got up, I moved into his seat, and asked the man next to me if he was enjoying the unusually warm weather in January.

So again I'm going out to a gig tonight. I'm going to see Matt's new band at the Middle East. Aside from being(btw I just spelled "being" "beying" and thought it was correct...perhaps I should start doing drugs again?) my best friend, Matt is one of the best damn drummers out there. He rocks his ass off on the kit, so I'm excited to see his new band. They don't go on until 11 or so, so I'm not going to get any freakin' sleep tonight yet again. I also have four people in my car, so after driving them all home, etc it will be a late evening...not to mention being draw to this thing late at night when I come home...I'll return soon...

before & after