Oh Joy!
2000-07-18 || I'm your david hasselhoff
soundtrack* cocteau twins - treasure

so i get home just now, and there some fucking guy in the yard with a cape and a top hat watching me come in go figure this guy is probably the same one that lurks in the woods for me every night the club i just got back from it now it's after 1AM i told myself i would get sleep tonight for work tommorrow i don't even want to face work tomorrow just as i didn't want to face anyone tonight i had to run into six million people i know and shake hands and hug and talk about my job and my guitar playing and pretend like i give a shit it took me twenty five minutes to go to the bathroom because of this i had a conversation in the bathroom with the floor okay you're going to go in there now and talk be nice talk mingle do it now talk to every single person in that room right now when you get out there no sorry my mouth is dry and i yelled into a microphone earlier so i don't want to you can't make me do anything you asshole the floor what a good thing to talk to i think i was talking to the floor all night the band was pretty good i guess not really my cup of tea just sort of rock and roll music lot's of how ya doin and look at my tattoos and dark eyes and how i make out with redheads in the alley and then tell the band that it was the fat one with red hair i can't put up with that talk about my friends hey you shouldn't either i would have said fuck you shut up god knows i'd never tell her that though this pack of cigarettes has dwindled significantly since i opened it walking into the club i didn't have to pay a dime tonight matt put me on the guest list and then rocked the drumset an old friend i met up with there bought me a soda for five minutes and i was done i can't sit still tonight i stood there and could not figure out for the life of me what i was thinking inside it wasn't loud at the beginning they didn't bring the baby to the show either that will be the last time i see him now forever probably strange people come in and out of your life and you don't even think twice about it a fine see ya later and a handshake i think that lesbian with the emotional problems took the scorpio into the bathroom to snort ridalin or whatever it is they do in rave world generation why or y or x or z which one is it nowadays i can't think about that some guy stepped on my foot in the club tonight not too many guys in there tonight a whole lot of girls with tank tops and tight pants and stupid haircuts that looked through my eyes to the wall behind me a whole slew of heavy metal discussions out in front of the building tonight so noboby wants me now even her now it's over thank the lord i can't say i'm happy but i can't say i'm upset either the phone calls needed to stop before i changed the number and moved to oregon to discuss the pyramids and jesus h christ on a crutch with a whole new group of people farewell and don't fall into the swimming pool on the way out and don't eat a hamburger with rocks and gasoline all over it because the two guys with the same name sort of stabbed you in the back so to speak it's funny how he was back then probably more similar to me than i would want to admit i can't say they made a good couple but he loved his tequila or rum or something he used to make me buy for his late night starbucks closing sessions i think i'll transfer to this part of your territory so i can keep a keen eye on you and your friends you and your friends are not going to stab me in the back as i'm right in the back yard sort of like the guy in the top hat and cape or rather the cape and the top hat i saw the cape first don't run away dude come on in we'll share a glass of cinnamon brandy and a cigar and talk about haunting people i like to haunt people just like you i know you have to hide it though be secrective and hide behind bushes and run away when my blue car pulls into the driveway there's no need to hide from me though unless of course you're planning on killing me i often wonder how every person i know will die eventually or how i will will it be next week will it be in ten years twenty thirty i'm thinking probably ten years from now who knows how i dont feel that healthy while smoking this many cigarettes perhaps i'll buy a patch i had this big silly iron maiden patch on my denim jacket in high school with a deep purple stormbringer pin on the front that's not even really a good deep purple record machine head fireball which i listened to on the way to work because that guy was in the yard on my way in i forgot to go into my trunk and take the nine hundred dollars worth of guitars into the house oh well doubtful that anyone will take them out of there unless it's those stupid guys with the loco motion car that cut me off and stared me down on the way home tonight i'm sorry but staring me down is going to make me laugh well i did laugh right in both of your faces and told you to move along i had dinner and guitars to look forward to and no time to waste arguing about how correct i was for going straight and not you and your stupid car go back to the point and get out of my neighborhood go blare bass music out of your car or whatever it is you people do with your time just leave me the fuck alone i don't want eye contact and my hands don't want to touch you with punches hugs or hand shakes this is my territory i'm always correct in the car especially if you have those stickers on the windshield that tell me you are in a honda crz with tinted windows next asshole plese they are all over the road today they cut you off they drive like nuts you ever notice that you're the best driver and everyone else sucks i wonder if there's just a large group of us that are correct in our driving habits or perhaps it's all them and we're all wrong either way i feel there are way too many shitty drivers out there that don't have their shit together i don't have my shit together another letter telling me no more bill evans box sets until you pay us two hundred dollars for the last two you bought fuck that i bought enough shit from you people i'll pay right now though i have guitars to play phone calls to screen and words to write on a piece of paper or screen or what the hell is this thing in front of me right now oh yeah this thing i like reading all of the different people on here there are a whole slew of folks who have interesting things to say about themselves and the anonymous worlds they live in it's all too much to take in at once and follow at once i found i'm linked on a page by the name of escape53 yesterday it's a good page i'd recommend it to anyone who enjoys good writing and nice fonts thank you escape53 for putting me on there like that some day uncle cc will figure out how to put all of the good people here on his and it will all be a brady bunch event maybe i'll even go on the camping trip instead of staying home to be joe cool camping trips are for squares what a real jerk greg was to his parents that time an insult i think mike was very upset and hurt i think he eventually went on the trip right right so i'm in the room on the phone last night with my ears still ringing from dave grohl and that woman with horrible shoes in blonde redhead and thinking how good it would be to jump into the ocean i haven't been to the ocean in seven or eight years the creatures and waves scare me when i was a little boy living in los angeles i got sucked into the undertow in zuma beach maybe that's what it's called a gentleman that may or may not have looked like hasselhoff resued me shit if that hasselhoff motherfucker hadn't rescued me i'd be chillin' with free willy and flipper and all those bad ass biznatches right now i need to rescue someone i want to be someones david hasselhoff nobody seems to want that as they all seem to swim just fine sorry just because you read john coltrane books and kiss good doesn't mean i'm going to save you or anyone in your family regardless of how fucked up your daddy was just because you can't deal with me and my feelings towards you doesn't mean anything you have flippers use them to swim i'm not going to throw a life preserver in though i'm not your david hasselhoff i'm your jaws right now i feel good about how i swim i feel bad i haven't swam though that last time boy did we get bit by those flys that carry lyme disease and sweated bullets that was a good day at the beach a whole bunch better than when my foot all of a sudden stopped working in portsmouth new hampshire on a particularly hot day in august shit that hurt who knows where that came from but it felt good to get rid of those shoes even if i did resent you for throwing them in the waste basket like that the clam chowder and loud bob seger more than made up for it though even if it was me on the phone why would you even care sure it was a nice call i was happy with it it was a goodbye of sorts not as good as last nights phone call though that was a good conversation alcohol boys girls sexual intercourse losing your virginity and thinking you're going crazy it's all a little close to home for me i guess i like to hope you can relate to me i like to think you are my best one i like to think we'll never have to meet again we'll just be down the street or seven numbers away i don't want you to move into eleven numbers away i want you to stay and try and understand me the phone calls were always good before i like calling you and as far as i know i never gave you a note although i could have in the midst of confusion at one point in my life in the face of confusion now though i look to the floor i get more from the floor than i get out of the boston globe and those communists over there i get more out of you than i did before even if i did resent you a whole bunch of times don't go away like the way i dread stay around and i'll take you out for a milkshake and a grilled cheese on wheat bread.

before & after