So I saw a great movie tonight, Jesus' Son. A bit depressing and dark, but also funny. Junkies. Jesus. Good times. The day started good, got shitty, and then got better again. So immediately after I wrote the last entry here, I called. "We'll call you back after dinner". I waited...dum dee dum....no call. I mean I knew 1.5 seconds after hearing "we'll call you after dinner" that the phone would not ring after they ate dinner. Perhaps it would, but the phone calling would not even be in the same building as their dinner table. Remember what dad told you about trust. Oh yeah, you're on your own. Doh. Remember what he told you would happen? "Let's do speedy drugs and go dancing" "How about after dinner?" So we see this movie (Annu and I) after boycotting this going away party for someone neither of us really likes much and then went to Harvard Square to eat at Charlies Kitchen, which is an adventure in itself. Not an ugly person in the place first off. Well except for...I'll get to that in a minute actually. Not sure but, the last time I looked up the word "unnecessary" in the dictionary it said "playing Yvonne Elmans 'If I can't have you' from Saturday Night Fever at deafening volumes at 1:03 AM EST when Christian is present and wants to actually talk for once". So it's loud as hell between the disco (btw why was Spanish Bombs by The Clash significantly quieter when we walked in? Where's the justice there? There's all sorts of sharp looking girls and boys in there with various pieces of metal sticking out of their faces, and studded belts[were those ever cool? why are they coming back all of a sudded?] and they turn up arguably the worst song from that soundtrack {although one of the better dance sequences between Travolta and "whats her name"}) and the loud people around us. Loud so that you can't concentrate. Loud like a club. This is a diner, well, with a bar, but it's like a diner anyway. There's 3 bikers sitting at the bar, they get up to leave and one of them is this big tough looking guy with leather vest, chaps, etc. He keeps checking himself in the mirror sucking in his stomach etc. I look and on his key chain he has one of those Supermarket (Stop and Shop) discount cards (similar to the thing Blockbuster Video gives you) amongst his keys. That just cracked me up for some reason. "Yeah I love drinking tons of beer, beating the shit out of people, gettin' laid, and saving money on my fruit and vegetables". It's good to know that todays bikers are sensible with the budget. Perhaps this is why you don't see many bikes with fire painted on them anymore. They're all doing things base now. Just a plain motorcycle. No fanfair. No decorations. The food was pretty good, although I could barely eat. I've barely been able to eat all week. I lost 8 pounds this week. Exercise and nutrition sure goes a long way. Although that's a bit much. No complaints here. I remember my friend was doing drugs to lose weight. What a fucking moron. I should have just smacked him in the side of the head. I still should. It's strange I never really think about that. He does every fucking drug imaginable, save for heroin I guess. What a tool. Who are these people and why do they keep following me? Hey take a look in this room right here. No come here, and just look in here for a couple of minutes. Okay, you're done. So I come in tonight and there is definitely someone in the woods watching me. I can always feel it. You can feel when there is soul around you. Not like if you were surrounded by Stevie Wonder, James Brown, Otis Redding, Sam Cooke, and Aretha Franklin in a football huddle, but you can feel the presence of someone if you try. So I walk by and I swore I heard a whisper. I mean there have been tons of things in my peripheral vision lately, so maybe that is somehow linked together. I get chills up my spine when I walk by and I feel someone out there. Tonight was extra much though. I really was followed right to the back door of this place, sober, fumbling for keys, picturing what it's like to stand in front of a toilet. It took me a second, I slammed the door shut, ran up the stairs and put 5 Black Sabbath CD's in the player on random. Now I am going to sleep to see if this thing will be outside shufflling around out in the yard what ever the fucking thing is.

There will be more bitching in here tomorrow.

-Out

before & after