some people are apparently on earth just to piss people off, and hurt people because they are not happy with themselves. i hate when these people hurt my friends, and it ruins the fun for everyone. it's like in high school when that one kid would get the whole class in trouble. sorry, no field trip. i never knew where that mindset came from, to me it's kind of cruel. okay, you pissed me off, to get you back, i'm going to get a large group of your peers pissed at you. i was that kid so...my point is, and i don't really know the story, if there is indeed one, that i hate seeing people close to me hurt. i'm always here for them anyway...so the red sox lost tonight, i had a good time being there though, and seeing pedro pitch was a plus, unfortunately they lost to the Toronto Blue Jays, who the hell are they, where the hell is Toronto? New Jersey? France? Jupiter? work was a disaster today, the second i walk in the door i am bombarded with questions, and can you do this and can you do that from nobody that is my superior. you barely have your shoes off when you get home at night and the dog jumps all over you that's one thing, but if you come home and barely have your shoes off and the phone starts ringing, and the rice is burning, it's not good whatsoever. this is how i felt today at work. to top it off, i almost got in trouble, and could possibly get in trouble for the simple act of receiving an e-mail from a co-worker. this whole union dispute, and mudslinging on behalf of the union is getting on my nerves. all i wanted to do was help people, people just always want something to complain about though. i think when i get back from vacation i am going to stop my union affiliation anyway, it's an added headache, and it's not worth being watched by big brother for having certain views. I just hope they don't see the 5 million personal e-mails i send a day from work...the new car is great. i picked it up yesterday after leaving at 9am, and getting home at 7pm. insurance, car dealer, bank, insurance, registry, etc. has anyone ever had a good time at any of these places? How boring is an insurance office. Do they ever have fun there? Do they ever just say "fuck all this paperwork, let's take our pants off, drink a bunch of jack daniels, and smash a television set with an aluminum softball bat"? And then the Registry Of Motor Vehicles. What a fucking motley crew in that place. They close at 5pm, I walk in at 4:40pm, there's about 900 people in there waiting for their number to be called. The people working counter look like they've been dead for about 11 years now. There's 12 windows, and 2 are open, while another woman "working" there is on the phone with her child presumably, talking about dinner. I guess if I had to deal with that place I would be thinking about dinner at quarter of five also. I don't think I've ever seen anyone smile in the RMV. Everything went smooth though, and I am now in debt for the rest of my life so i can drive to work and pay to drive to work. life is kind that way. vacation will be tight in the money department indeed.

sometimes i try and go back to route 127 12 years ago, i have no idea what i looked like, i can barely remember what she looks like. for years after she just had horns coming out of her forhead in my mind. now she's a vague memory of someone bad i crossed paths with. maybe she meant well, she was yound and confused, regardless, i look back embarassed when i realized how ignorant i was. the things a person will do in the face of what they think is love. right. the abandoned drive-in is now completely torn down, and the roads look smaller now. i recently went to wingaersheak beach or however you spell it and brought some of the better memories back, after all nothing bad really happened there. it was the later shit. all the good things happened on that road, and i still go on it at least three or four times a month. it's a mind cleansing drive. haven't done it alone in quite a bit. perhaps I'll do that this weekend. jessica lives up there, i'm not calling her though. kerry was so good in the summer of 1988, why did she have to suck in the winter of 1988? imagine if i all of a sudden fell into a deep depression because kerry broke my heart 12 years ago, and i am reliving the pain now? how absurd would that be? it's nice to be able to laugh those things off now. i was young, punk rock and having sex. now i'm old, quiet, and sleeping with two pillows and a sheet.

before & after