It feels like the afternoon as it's still light out, but it's after 7:30. After consulting a) my bank account, and estimating bills to come in the next month and a half b) maps, c) friends with opinons the past few days, I think I'm going to do the Tennessee thing. I told myself I would take one more "Phish road" trip this summer and then "quit" the lengthy trips following the band around. So I am going to start looking into routes, hotels, etc shortly.

It sucks, one day we're laying on her gawdy green couch watching Jerry Lewis movies and drinking ice water, and the next I don't get to be her friend anymore. Shouldn't it just be "you can't touch me anymore"? Why can't you be my friend now. You did this. This was your choice. They always stick around to see how I'm doing. I'm always wondering how you're doing. I always think about your mouth when you laugh. I hope he can make you laugh just as hard as I used to be able to do. I hope that he can live up to your quest for a boyfriend whos just like your last one as usual. I remember you told me that I reminded you of your last boyfriend. I don't remember his name, but I remember when you told me he wore a leather jacket and sneakers at the same time I had to laugh. I wasn't like him at all. Why do you compare? I'm wondering what little things the new guy has that remind you of me. Does he sing Happy Birthday into the answering machine? Does he kiss your nose? So I don't get to just call you at the end of the day and ask you how your day went. It now doesn't matter how your day went to day to me does it? I hope you have the same hard time you had telling me about your past in high school. All those secrets you begged me to not judge you over. I remmber the particular evening we had that discussion, I drove home and thought about how I told you I felt "no different" about you because of that.I did judge you though. I couldn't look you in the face the same way after that. Do you remember how different the sex was after that? Do you remember me?

The band is finally recording next week. We are going to records 3 songs, which are my favorites: Mineral, Best Supporting Actor, and Sincerely, Jack Daniels. We are going to shop these around to different clubs around Boston, and the eastern united states (and send copies to friends overseas who were promised tapes years ago : ) ).Unfortunately, my plans to buy yet another guitar (3 is not enough) will be postponed months now, as I need to start putting extra money away for the trip. I should get off this thing, as the phone may be trying to ring.

out-

before & after