I know why I have the friends that are girls, the boys just talk about the same thing. they need some sort of excuse to talk, and it's always either about television, movies, or music. it gets old sometimes. not really that drunk at this point in the evening, i feel a little something, but it's not from the drinks. a month and a half ago i was not drinking. i went 8 months without drinking. i'm ready to stop again soon. perhaps after this weekend. i never dug this shit before, it makes my mouth taste yucky, and i see things different. I always seem to see things different, but i can see why it's so easy for drunk people to do the things they do sometimes. it's too easy. why not make things a challenge. being sober and insecure is the way to be, yeah right...the cigarettes are killing me tonight, what a lung i have right now...too much of the smoking, the drinks, and then "The Smoking" will always "put me on the bathroom floor" as Heather calls it. Not tonight though. It's late as hell now, and I am beyond being sick. I was with a good group of people tonight at the bar though. I had fun I guess. the place was empty, and the attractive friendly bartender girl was not in the hizouse tonight. i looked at some maps today, and where i want to go in tennessee is 1100 miles away. 20 hours of driving total. I could do that in 2 days hard, or three easy days...tonight the music played the band at rehearsal. this is when it is so "on" and we're all hearing each other, the music sort of becomes you. this sounds all new agey, so I'll stop before I start saying things like "the music takes over your soul", etc.It makes sense to me though, let me tell you.

my my is not making sense to my self right now, so that should be the best way to end the confusion. wasn't friday already two days ago?

-ouch

before & after