"HEY LADIES, YOUR LUCKY DAY! I NEED A FUCKING GIRLFRIEND. I'M LONLY, HORNEY, AND MISERABLE. ANYBODY OUT THERE EVEN REMOTLY INTERESTED? BETWEEN THE AGES OF 19-22. MUST BE SOMEWHAT BORING, NOT A FEMINIST, BORED SHITLESS, AN OUTCAST, LIKE PUNK, OPEN MINDED, VULGAR, SEXUAL, HORNEY, SUPPORTIVE, HONEST, SWEET, REAL, HORROR FAN, PERFERABLY NOT VEGAN, NO DRUNKS, ABSOLUTLY NO DRUGS, CIGARETTS, OK (HEY, YOUR THE ONE GETTING CANCER), SAYS FUCK, SHIT, CUNT, COCK, AND ALL THE OTHER DIRTY WORDS. NOT EMBARRESED EASILY. SILLY, SMART AND STUPID, CUDDLY, SMART ASS, WRESTLING FAN, DONT TRAVEL, LAUGHS ALOT, BITTER AT THE WORLD, DOESN'T LIKE THE BAND "HOLD THIS MAN MEAT", AKA "THE HOMO BROS.", ISNT RACIST OR HOMOPHOBIC BUT ISN'T OFFENDEDAT THE WORDS FAG AND DIKE NOR RACIAL JOKES. MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000 FANS, NO SLUTS, CHEATERS, OR GROUPIES!!! IS JUST PLAIN COOL... SOMEONES GOTTA BE OUT THERE, I AIN'T THAT UGLY...AM I?"

The world needs to end soon.

before & after