I had this Extreme Rock thing happening on MTV a little while ago. Every one of those bands sounds similar to me at this point. I bought that Mars Volta record, and they are at least doing something interesting. I still need to digest it alone though, as I�ve had two listens in the office amongst the daily office things, so I didn�t pay attention much. Other bands doing something vaguely interesting with heavy music: Neurosis of course, Today is the Day, Tomahawk to an extent, and of course my band : )

I found this tonight:

6.24.00

Sitting in Kinko's yet again, I'm dirty shaven, I've had the same clothes on for 3 days, and I reek of marijuana. It might be added that nobody is on either of the terminals to the right and left of me. I just saw a guy walking by here with a Budweiser in his hand. Upon closer inspection it was a Diet Coke. I wouldn't doubt that happening though. So aside from the words on the phone the past few days, I've not said much out loud besides "pack of Winston lights", "table for one", "large coffee, to go", and "100 for a blow job? Are you fucking kidding me?". The guy actually thought I was going to pay that...just kidding. Unfortunately, as well as fortunately my vacation hasn't been as glamorous as hanging on 2nd Street getting blow jobs from men in cowboy hats. Which begs the question, where are the fucking cowboy hats down here? This is the country music capital of the world, and I've literally seen one cowboy hat. It was on a homeless guy. Perhaps an out of work musician? Yesterday I watched a whole movie starring Carrot Top. The Motle 6 television options give you a total of 6 channels. I am looking forward to the Red Roof Inn after tonight. They have a ton more channels, pay per view movies, as well as play per game video games in the rooms. Oh yeah, I did have some books I brought with me as well as 400 CD's tapes, etc. Today I was going to do some more site seeing that I missed in yesterdays disaster of a day. My first day off after Phish and I wake up at noon. I never wake up at noon, I hate sleeping, it's boring : ) I drove downtown where I am now, came here did a little of this, drove around with the air conditioning, saw a cool little park but didn't get out because I thought I would find something better to do. Last night I read about said park, I'm going to go there after this, apparently there's some statues, and landmarks, etc. It will be alot better than last night. Last night I stayed in hoping someone would call me and I could sit there and talk. Earlier I called Matt, and early in the night Annu called. It was good to hear from those two. The rest of the night consisited of television, reading, and venturing out for dinner and realizing my idea was correct, I'm staying in the ghetto. Every few minutes the loud thumping bass sound passes by the window, the half dressed black woman that came out of a random room when I was coming back from the Phish show asking for a light "thanks sugar" she said as she hopped back to the room barefoot in panties and a tank top. There was "ahlmost a fiighht in 'ere last niighht" at The Waffle House next to me. There is a ton of poverty stricken areas, so it's a welcome relief to come to this area and hang out in the sweltering heat. I can't just sit in that room anymore though, it's strange how far it is from home, yet that room reminds me alot of my life there sometimes. Not that I shut myself in, but I felt the same in that room last night as I did back home a few months or weeks back. I don't really desire feeling like that again thank you. So I feel like I can blend in pretty good down here, it's fun to just sort of blend into a crowd or city without being noticed. I went the whole 4 hours or so at the Phish show without saying a word. One "hi" that's it.. I can't make small talk sometimes. Alot of times this happens at home, it's strange they say people down here are much more friendly than in Massachusetts, I haven't really noticed this time. It was more so in Virginia I think. But I'll be out at home and have a million small things to say to someone, here though I just haven't had anything to say to anyone. I think I'm going to go clothes shopping today I have a suitcase full of clothes and I keep wearing the same things. Maybe I should open it and look and see what's actually in there rather than buy more...I was trying to find some things to bring people back, and I haven't thought of any. Was that a gunshot, or someone throwing a baseball against a piece of plywood? I hate that there's no sound in here except for people ordering paper copies, and the occasional southern drawl of some cute young nashvillean woman : ) I spent 2 hours in the Wafflehouse after the Phish show the other night just listening to the conversation. Here's some of what I heard: "Listen to this, I was drivin on the intertstate, and I come up behind this guy, and he slams on his brakes...I'm trying to pass him so I can flip him the bird or have him pull over", "You gonna call me?" "That faggot better not hit my car, if he knows what's good for him". And on the radio: "This is Misty in Antioch, and I want to hear Bob Seger, Beautiful Loser", "Hi I wanna here some Zeppelin!" . I like the radio down here, I've found one college station that just plays jazz mostly. Alot of it is new jazz, but.So I was sitting in the Wafflehouse the other morning (when I left Knoxville, and made my way to Best Buy, and Circuit City to find the Deftones CD before driving to here...unsuccessfully) and I sit down and this bearded homeless guy hands me the newspaper "here, it's all bad news anyway" "thanks buddy", I replied. He tried to make a little small talk, but I left my sunglasses on and gave him a few smiles and yeses, but that was it. "Are you driving west?" "No, I'm just going back to my motel over there, my wifes having a baby" I answered this time. I was indeed driving west after breakfast, and as appealing as it sounds having some random homeless guy to travel a long distance with, I didn't want to get invloved. It was too early in the trip. I didn't need anyone at that point. It was two days in. Plus, who knows, he could be some big serial killer that's loose down here that my ignorant New England eyes and ears have not heard about. How odd is that, I wondered that after he left the restaurant. I wonder if he would have killed me if I took him with me, or if I would have killed him. Even thought they have all of my personal info at the desk at hotels I stay in I always like to write things in the mirror for the next people that stay in the room when the thing fogs up: "stop me before I kill again" "her arm is in the mattress", etc. Or leave little things in between the mattress like notes, seeds, etc. I used to do graffitti, and that was always fun to leave your mark around the world, but to drive around with a bag of magic markers and spray paint at 30 years old would not be the most wise thing I could do. So I need someone today, I at least need one person to call me, I would be much better off if that happened tonight. I feel it might, but I ain't gonna stay in and wallow and think about things that I don't need to be thinking about. I'm going to make it down to that park now. Might be back to do this again, might not.

Out0-

how Silly I am � at least my grammar is a little better now-

before & after