Oh Joy!
2002-12-16 || top 20 movies of 2002
Soundtrack � Wilco � Yankee Hotel Foxtrot

�Leave Us Alone we are working on blueprints�

Try this we are walking into the bar you and I and I turn to you and tell you I am scared to go in I am scared to be in there with them all I am scared to go outside now I don�t want to feel the aggravation and anger like I felt today I listen to this cd and I have to fucking shut it because I don�t give a fuck who broke this guys fucking heart I don�t give a fuck who broke anyone�s heart for that matter.

�We burned hashish�

I am going to kick Aarne and Breaux out of the band. Why? Because someone played that Flaming Lips Soft Bulletin record in the office the other day and I have to say that is the most boring fucking thing I have listened to next to the last 10 records any black person has released in the last 4 years. Think of it, when is the last time a black person made a good record after say�1964? It hasn�t happened. I mean white people. White people have not made good music since who the hell knows when. Perhaps since Elton John recorded that song I�m Still Standing. I like the last time I heard ### ###### ###### - ### ######### #### ###### though.

�John Travolta�s facial hair in the film �Swordfish��

I pissed out what seemed like a gallon and a half of beer, and then got in my car. The drive home was intense and dangerous. Art Bell telling me that people spontaneously go invisible. I took the barrel of the 9mm and pointed it at the woman and her son driving by me in the mini-van and lit another Kool.

�If you let me cum in your little sister, I will give you this Styx t-shirt�

She doesn�t really know if she wants him back. He seemed to come and take what he wanted and then make his way out rather quickly. She never would have taken him for that type, he seemed so nice and everything. He was not selfish in bed, and always held the door. I wonder if she knew that he jerked off in the bathroom in the middle of the night long after she fell asleep, it was his bathroom.

�Quick, Doug is coming, hide the chicken�

Once you see enough of the rap videos and the people. I mean, so I am in the video store last night, and this guy is talking to another guy in there about New York and how they were both from the Bronx or Queens, or wherever the fuck I don�t know shit about that city, so where all the fucking people that would talk like they are in the Wu-Tang Clan. Ebonics. Or just how they talk in hip-hop music in general. I love a lot of the music myself, but when you hear someone talking like that in real life you want to hit them in the head with an aluminum softball bat over and over while screaming the lyrics to �Billie Jean� by Michael Jackson.

�When he fucked me in the ass, I wanted to make believe he was Jesus, and I were a lamb�

Quote in the video store last night from guy on cell phone:

�Have you seen Scooby Doo yet?�

�Welcome to the party, please leave your mouth out in the yard�

So when we arrived at the apartment of Timmy and Jenni I initially thought we were going to be surrounded by thieves and men with insurance plans; instead, we were surrounded by good drugs, and good jazz music from the late 70�s. One wants to believe that Timmy would not have good music, but for the remainder of the night we discussed how great the tone of Pat Metheney was in this particular year.

�Kenny Rogers, completely naked, high on crystal meth, breaking into a liquor store�

dream last night, really: So I�m swing dancing with some women from work out in the warehouse. The next thing I know I am locked into the freight elevator from the band rehearsal building. I realize I don�t know how to operate it. I am suddenly going down way to far. The next thing I know, I go so far down I am now�.up in the air, whatever the fuck that means. Aarne, Breaux, and Dan are on the ground telling me to come down, my view is like that view near the beginning of 8 � where that rope is dangling from my the mans leg and he�s above the water. That is quite possibly the most frightening scene from any movie. I did watch it yesterday, so that�s why that was there I guess. I have no idea where the swing dancing and elevator came from though.

�Ladies and gentlemen, please remove your pants, the cast of Lizzie McGuire is here�

When I ran into Wesley Snipes on the street last weekend he told me that if I was going to make it I needed to try just a little bit harder. I�ll have to remember that.

�7/22/82 � Mike�s House�

heavy metal and beer and pot for the first month and having crushes on girls with feathered hair and discovering what vodka tastes like and the night they had the fight out in the back yard and the iron maiden cassettes and the roach clips and having your finger smell like pussy for the first time and the way a girls mouth tastes like cigarettes and the way whiskey tastes and how late am I going to come home even though I said I was sleeping over the cops have come everyone has to go home now.

�the night Jim took my car to New Hampshire�

I change the names and ideas around when I speak but I don�t tell anyone this I don�t lie I have never lied in my whole entire life I don�t know how to lie I lie about things like lying when I don�t want to admit that I can lie about lying and how I never lie yet I am lying when I say that I don�t lie about lying about lying.

�How much pussy Dave Matthews ate on the last stadium tour he did�

Not to get political, as I have no idea who was president before Jimmy Carter, as I wasn�t paying attention, but why don�t we tell Trent Lott to suck our collective cocks, and quit?

�The fact that I will most likely never have sexual intercourse with Jeanne Tripplehorn�

�A visibly fucked up Liza Minneli being eaten by a giant orange scorpion with wings�

The first time one hears the song �the Magic Power� by �the other famous trio from Canada", Triumph, one is filled with such a feeling of hope, you literally feel like Rik Emmett is going to jump through the speakers and give you a big hug. Hi, my name is Christian, and I am addicted to rock and roll music.

�the drive home after you pay for sex the first time�

facts: I�ve never seen the movie Top Gun. I have never been to France. I like drinking water.

�the history of this man�

I love fucking cole slaw, love it, absolutely love it. All of the cold �pre-made� salads are great too. My wife made this wonderful potato salad last week. I ate it all week at work. Her sister makes a great macaroni salad. I once knew a man from Ohio who made some pretty intense bean salad that was just delicious! Fuck I love it all! Fuck!

�the ticket to the Jethro Tull concert in your wallet while you get arrested�

I remember going to this day camp when I was a little kid. One weekend, they had a sleep over. I didn�t want to sleep over. I don�t like sleeping outside to this fucking day. I was supposed to meet a couple of friends in the middle of the night to get in trouble or whatever. The next day when I showed up, this big kid Kevin, his Kiss belt buckle glimmering in the hot summer of 78� sun says to me �where were you last night?�. He was going to beat me up for not showing up to do whatever we were going to do. One day I fell on the trampoline and hurt my head crying and yelling, I felt paralyzed and freaked out. I think this is why I have problems in general now.

�fred, tina, and mike�

essay question: why are there white people anymore?

�last Friday, when we quit smoking cocaine�

I just meant I would make more sense then, just hold on.


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