my theorry is rite bush crashedt that plane, and now he isz going to kill us all themotherfuker! he wntas to keep atakcing people in other cuntrys. he is the reezin I wont get to see ahge 40. all of uss should stage a coup and hget him!

It�s nice out today, last night the air conditioner froze me, and when I awoke today I felt like I was on heroin or something. my muscles all ache, and my nose is congested, perhaps Reina got me sick somehow. I did my usual ritual and got out of bed, walked to the cell phone, turned in on, lit a cigarette, and sat at my desk rubbing the heroin from my eyes or whatever the fuck was ailing me yet again this week. The phone rings, it�s what sounds like �a black woman� Oooh, I�ve been waiting to get a phone call from an African American girl ever since I had my heart broken by my 10th consecutive white girl a few years ago.

Is this Christian?

Yes (cough)

Is this a good time to talk?

Ummm, as long as it�s not about this registered letter I haven�t opened from the IRS yet

I�m with Sprint PCS

Oh, okay, yeah?

Our records show that your past due is about to shut your phone off, did you know that?

I actually thought it would have been shut last week

No, it�s still on, can you pay the past due amount of $261.87 this morning?

Umm, hold on, they just said on the TV another plane crashed in New York, Oh My God

Really?

No, I�m sorry, it was footage from last year�sorry about that, I just put the TV on.

Wow, I hope not

Seriously huh?

So can you pay this balance today?

Umm, yeah, I might have to put that off until I get paid next week, is that okay?

Yes I can do that for you

Tell me something, what is your name again?

Sharon

Sharon, where were you last year at this time? (I look at the clock it says 8:38AM)

boring

so I cannot keep my eyes on one thing here at work today. I start one thing and then start another I start one thing eventually finish the other and start something that doesn�t need to be started

so I cannot keep my eyes on one thing here at work today. I start one thing and then start another I start one thing eventually finish the other and start something that doesn�t need to be started

so I cannot keep my eyes on one thing here at work today. I start one thing and then start another I start one thing eventually finish the other and start something that doesn�t need to be started

I was on my way to work

Me too

What a day huh?

Yes it was, my brother-in-law worked for the FBI and he told me some stories about that

Your brother-in-law is probably listening to us right now if he works for the FBI

(laughs)

So, is my phone going to be shut off Sharon? I�m going away to Los Angeles this weekend

No, I�ll have it kept on until you pay it next week, how long will you be in LA?

5 days, starting on Saturday morning

Well, have fun, and your phone should be turned on

Are you in LA Sharon?

No sir, I�m not

Oh, okay, I was thinking we could go for a drink and talk about September 11th�well have a good day, and thanks for your help

Thank you Christian, and have a nice vacation

I am obsessed with this guy Ted Hawkins right now. What a fucking voice on him, and such great songs. I just ordered this retrospective CD from Newbury Comics, but I want it for my trip to Los Angeles this weekend that I�m not actually going on physically, just mentally.

sometimes I play songs in my head. the whole song. there is always music going on somewhere and there is always music going on inside my head just in time for me to fall asleep. last night I fell asleep to steely dan on the stereo, and some softcore pornography movie on cinemax. this is how I celebrated the birth of the new UNITED STATES OF AMERICA!!!

they aregoingto crrahs plins into the nulclera power plant in new hmampshirt abd make it so we cannt pbreathe and the oxygen and sjkin burns off because george bushs exists!I just leraned that jeesse helms is retiurng. why did he make ittt this fkiunckg long anyhow?>! fukin him and his tiwtsted view poionts. michela moore didid thtat thing wher eh had this gay menns choir sing chrritsmas cralos in freon t of helms�s hosoue, now thtat�s funny. I have to gtet bkac to wirk now

if terrriotrsts get us, you knowo whre to go

before & after