Had some family function to go to today that I completely forgot about until yesterday. This one wasn�t that bad, it was close to here, and it was short. My little cousin, who is 7 and has the same name as me was this little hyper trouble maker before, they�ve put him on some sort of drug, and he�s completely different. This is fucked in a way. I can�t imagine putting my kids on drugs, or myself going on drugs for psychological reasons. Everyone I�ve known that has gone on them has just continued on more or less just as fucked up as they were originally. I think it takes away from the personality. Who the fuck would I be if I didn�t want to drive my car into oncoming traffic at least once a week?

I don�t want to leave my house at all this week. I�ve been out every fucking day, and around the band and around friends and driving my car that is about to shit the bed. I drove that CD we recorded into the ground, now I hear all the shit on it I don�t like at all. I don�t think I�ll ever be satisfied. I�m sure that we can come up with better songs than what�s on it. Now that it�s sunk in, I don�t think it has any staying power song-wise. It�s a little boring I guess. I want to cut out all the lyrics on it, as it�s all full of shit stuff about nobody in particular, although I�d like to think it is. Whatever.

Speaking of Presley, I found a picture of the rhythm section from my band on the net today:

Tonight, well, after that party today I sat around this fucking house all fucking day. In the air conditioning, dead to the world, forgetting what the phone sounds like, forgetting who I know and where I�m from. A little while ago, I decided to follow the instructions of the dog, and take a bunch of PCP, and drink a pint of Wild Turkey. I went into my backyard all stumbling and drooling all over myself. And all of a suddenwwwwwwhhhhhoooooaaa!

I don�t have enough middle fingers right now. I don�t have enough PCP and conversations with the dog.

Sincerely,

Yola

before & after