The rain is so fucking loud right now, but the window needs to stay open or else I will catch cancer even quicker, while sweating. How bad would that suck, getting cancer, in this sweltering heat. Okay, that�s not something to joke about now is it?

I have not had a day in a while. A day to just walk around somewhere, drive somewhere and get out and walk around, shop, talk to myself, look in the mirror and want to throw up, etc. I have been busy with the band so much lately, and then playing guitar at home every night now for at least an hour, that I haven�t remembered how to juggle. I don�t like being this busy right now. I�m neglecting friends, I�m not really paying attention to the feelings of anyone but my own. I feel like a rock or nothing rather. Not that this is a disclaimer to get out of pissing anyone off, but I really feel like my energy is only focused in one area, so I haven�t thought straight. I like the thought of being in the midst of all this creativity, I guess that�s good energy. What am I fucking Jim Morrison��man, that�s some good energy you got right now�how are your shockra�s? Are your shockra�s aligned or what, perhaps I can hold this crystal over your genitals and align them for you� I say fuck talking like that. I say fuck the horoscopes and everything they say. Today they told me the Scorpio to step away from the vehicle, take the seat belt off and step out of the car, now. They never tell you what you want to hear. When will I open the paper that fateful morning and my horoscope will say �Today you will meet a girl who looks like Molly Ringwald, circa 1986, who loves Sun Ra, and knows who Teo Macero is, and furthermore why he was a more influential record producer than George Martin could ever imagine to be. Today, you will meet this girl, she will also have a tattoo of Xerxes from The Gashlycrumb Times on the small of her back, and will have a step brother who gets really good pot� Perhaps it will say that tomorrow morning.

I have a tempting bottle of red wine,and this fucking movie with Mel Gibson and the crop circles is going to drive me insane. He doesn�t know anything about no damned crop circles.

I have the sound down on the tv, and on the news just now there was a picture of Medford Massachusetts on the screen and a policeman directing traffic, it wasn�t until it was over and I went to turn it that I remembered I�ve been dealing with this for two days now. None of the traffic lights are working in that city right now. So the last two days going to and from work has been a horrible test of ones nerves. Those lights are crucial. There are those morning when I wish that traffic lights did not exist.

Fuck that crazy girl Dan and I saw tonight, she dates that indie rock kid, and wears too much makeup. She needs it though. She gives looks like she�s cooler. I remember you when you had fucking butterfly patches on your faded blue jeans, so don�t try to show attitude.

The worst thing about playing the guitar in that room in the summer is sweating, and getting a rash on my right arm from rubbing against the body of the guitar, it hurts as I type this, as I don�t type with my wrists up like some stupid intern. The interns. The Taller one, and the smaller Asian one who has the body of a nine year old boy. The tall one, in the heat, shows legs like she wants Rod Stewart to write a song about her, and they walk around there and want you to change the water bottle this, and fix the printer that, and giggle and sit cross legged and say �oh my god� quite a bit. Oh my god I need to call in sick.

When I do find the person responsible for sending the majority of the junk mail to my e-mail, I will light them on fire with a sword that I get in hell, that Satan himself hands me. I will light this person on fire, and then damn them to hell for an eternity of bad Robert Wagner/Valerie Bertinelli/Shannon Tweed/Lifetime for Women movies.

"We had two bags of grass, seventy-five pellets of mescaline, five sheets of high powered blotter acid, a salt shaker half full of cocaine, and a whole galaxy of multi colored uppers, downers, screamers, laughers... and also a quart of tequila, a quart of rum, a case of beer, a pint of raw ether and two dozen amyls. Not that we needed all this for the trip, but once you get locked in a serious drug collection, the tendency is to push it as far as you can. The only thing that worried me was the ether, there is nothing in the world more helpless and irresponsible and depraved than a man in the depths of an ether binge."

before & after