Aside from the short moments on the bed here and there watching the tv or reading, I haven�t had a moment to catch my breath in a few days. A series of events, and more days go by feeling useless and bored. Tomorrow night we are going to play I think, even though I hate the guitar now. My new thing is, I can�t play guitar, I hate playing guitar, and the last time we rehearsed it was literally the worst thing I�ve ever heard in my life, next to that last gig we played in Salem.

So, last night I was at a gathering with my friend, and at one point I went over to him and said �do you want to go have a cigarette outside, faggot?� . At this very point, I realized there was a faggot, or sorry, homosexual male, behind him. I said it kind of quiet, and fuck I was actually saying �Do you want to go have a cigarette, you know, a faggot?� I mean back in the day, I remember looking up the word faggot in the dictionary, and it said something about slang for cigarette, and a bundle of sticks, or something like that. I recently looked it up in the dictionary again and it just says �A male homosexual�. It�s slang for that. I mean the kids talk slang these days you know. So maybe I was talking to the male homosexual that was behind my friend, and I was just trying to me hip like �Yo faggot, you wanna go bust a smoke wit� me?!� I guess though, if it means so much to everyone that we live somewhere free where people can be homosexual and not worry about it, I guess I should stop there, as I�ll end up pissing some tight ass off. I wouldn�t want to offend anyone, or make them think I�m actually speaking from the heart here.

Why the fuck should I give some fucking homeless guy standing next to my car on Storrow Drive a cigarette, I got shit to do and people to see. fuck.

before & after