Top ten ways to get attention in your online Diary:

1) Make rash statements like �I�m quitting my band�, �I hate people�, ad nauseum

2) Lie, a whole fucking lot. Invent ideas and opinions that are so out of tune with how you really are in person like �I don�t like homosexuals�, �I think children should do drugs�, �Osama Bin Laden is a hero of mine�, �I think people who drink alcohol should be shot�, etc

3) Talk about women and how much you love/hate them. People like to see guys talk about women, especially in a demeaning manner.

4) Make secret, unnecessary judgments on your friends, but don�t use their names. This is actually a good way to lose friends, which is another list all together.

5) Act like a baby. Whine about some girl/boy that just broke up with you, and don�t stop. Actually, this step will get people to STOP reading your diary.

6) Talk about music, and how much of it sucks, especially bands people like. Let people know that you think the Strokes suck, let them know that Low is a really shitty indie rock band suitable for putting people to sleep. Your opinion is what matters here, it�s your dime.

7) Talk about Jesus in a bad way �I fucked Jesus in the ass last night�, etc always works

8) Let people know that you are bored and how nobody loves you anymore. People like to watch the demise of a complainer.

9) Don�t give a shit about what anyone says. I�ve made a good living here pissing some people off, because I don�t really care who�s reading this at any time. It seems like most people write on here, and they write as if they�re talking to someone, me, I�m talking to myself. When I�m by myself I do hate homosexuals, I do think Osama Bin Laden is a hero, I do think kids should do LSD on field trips. Most people would like you to think they don�t give a shit what people think, but in all actuality they do, as they write directly to someone, hoping they see it. Me, I crave attention from the strangers. I want to make people feel uncomfortable. I want to tell people how my cousin fucked me in the ass when I was a little kid and then ejaculated all over my face, it�s reality, deal with it. What isn�t reality is the whining about your ex boyfriend or girlfriend that isn�t coming back. I want to tell strangers how I feel. My friends know how I feel, they know me. I don�t hate people, as I love myself, so that would be impossible, and I love some of my friends, but I do like to get people to stop, look, and listen for a minute.

10) Shut up.

before & after