5/8/02

it�s hot as piss out today. well, it�s nice out. the best thing about today though, the weather is just a whatever thing, but the best fucking thing about today is�.ladies and gentlemen�.boys and girls�freaks and geeks�motherfuckers and cocksuckers all over the world�I have nothing to do tonight. Thank the all mighty Jesus Christ for that. It seems like the last month has been: go to work, get out, drive to practice, practice, go home/out, go to work, practice. With the gigs we�ve been getting this past month, we�ve been playing more and more. In the process, we�re becoming more and more well oiled. I think we are ready to kill people with electric rock and roll music from pits of Alzahagarotha. I haven�t had many nights, or days to just do nothing and sit around, or go out by myself, which is pretty valuable right now. Okay, so JDG just called and wants to go see the new Woody Allen movie tonight, so�I think I will go see that for the first time, and then see it again in case I fall asleep. So, I do have something to do tonight after all. Oh well, I guess I shouldn�t complain about having good friends to hang out with.

(if you don�t watch out, I will steal something from you. if you aren�t a little more careful, I will hurt you. I always end up hurting everyone around me somehow. I want to move it down a level, and just upset people a little maybe)

Today I will take my time getting out of here. I�m trying to learn how to be more patient, as I am a very anxious person now. Not anxious where I can�t stop shaking, but anxious enough that I can�t wait for anything. I�ve been tested over and over lately. Mostly with people. I can�t (CUT)

soundtrack Danzig � III How the Gods Kill

5/9/02

So I was reading in the paper about this guy getting arrested for stalking for like the 7th time yesterday. Don�t people know how to stalk anymore. Years ago, I was a steady stalker. I had a set of rules for stalking people that I will outline below:

1) The number one rule of stalking is you don�t want to hurt the stalkee, the whole point of all of this is to get them to notice how dedicated you are to them. Always make sure you reiterate this when leaving letters on the stalkees windshield, or in their mailbox. You could even go so far as to tell them you love them, this will hopefully set an optimistic mood for both parties. For you, you get the basic emotion off your chest, and for the stalkee, they get the nervous anticipation of perhaps meeting someone who is in love with them.

2) Dress casual on a �trailing trip�. If you�re going out for a day of following your stalkee around, you�ll want to wear something comfortable, like good sneakers with heel support. All of this also depends on the weather, and where the stalkee is going, as you may be in a car, or on foot. You don�t want to stick out by dressing in all black with a ski cap on! If it is nighttime, this dress if proper, and will be explained in the next step.

3) Night time visits are the bread and butter of stalking. Only when one does it correctly, is it successful though! Wear dark colors, if the stalkee lives a drive away, obviously park your car pretty far away. One of the most important things about looking into peoples windows, is to not stand up against the house! Even though the stalkee can�t see who is lurking outside in the dark if they have their lights on, it is best to stand near a tree a few feet away. Anywhere where you can�t be startled from behind is a good spot.

4) Those are some of the fundamentals of stalking. To get the ball rolling though, you need to find out the stalkee�s schedule. The best way I�ve done it, is by memorizing the cars at their work. Unless you see the stalkee in their car and know what kind of car they drive, you�ll have to do a little work. Obviously, the point of all of this is to earn a prize at the end, so doing some clever detective work will help. I once was able to narrow every employee at a Filenes car down to this one person I was stalking by seeing who is working, then surveying the parking lot. This usually works best if the stalkee works at a smaller business establishment.

5) If the stalkee is working somewhere, and you need to go in, do not, under any circumstances talk to them until at least a month and a half of the beginning of the stalking. You may frequent their business, and stay in there as long as you remain silent and mysterious. Most people are attracted to quiet mysterious people who stare, so while getting some shopping done, you are also building a character!

6) If the police catch you, always tell them you are an independent private investigator working for an insurance company.

7) When you finally meet your stalkee, and they want to talk it�s best to act in a calm, civilized manner. Regardless of where you are, or what the circumstances are, try to be pleasant. A court room can be a sterile place, why not spice it up with a couple of �I love you�s� before you are handed a restraining order.

8) Restraining orders. A restraining order is just a small road block served from a confused person who doesn�t understand true love, or dedication. You�ve put all of this time and effort into getting to meet this person, and they pay you back with this. Do not get nervous if you receive a restraining order though, there are all sorts of loopholes in the average restraining order, and a lot of the time it states you need to be a certain distance from the person at all times. Thank God for binoculars!

Tomorrow, I will outline the next step of stalking, long distance �Restraining order restricted� stalking.

-satch

before & after