It�s been a while, sorry�busy, I believe.

As of 1:33 AM on May 1, 2002, Vodka and Orange Juice is the best song we have in our repertoire, because of the part Dan plays that sounds like outer space shit happening. That song would sound good remixed with a drum and bass beat under it I bet�hmmm. I�ll have to remember that when we go into the studio again this summer. Today was the day I spoke to the guy from the studio to book. We are going to book 3 days with this guy Steve who is pretty popular in the hardcore/metal world anyway. I am very excited about this, and will probably forget how to play guitar when we get there. He sounded like a cool guy on the phone, especially for talking to me during soundcheck opening for Motorhead.

We played tonight in Somerville, it went pretty well from a musical standpoint I would say. I thought we sounded great, unfortunately there weren�t many people there (although we had the most people there to see us), and the ones that were, were giving off a strange vibe. Or maybe I was just high. I felt strange though, I think it was the empty spaces on the floor, and the scattered friends and family around the place. We didn�t get paid tonight either. It was nice to see a couple people from my work there too. Billy, the guy from my computer department came, and seemed into it. I played with him in a band at Christmas for a work holiday party. We performed �Christmas with the Devil� by Spinal Tap, as well as some blues Christmas songs.

I need to finally get around to reading this stack of books I just pulled off the shelf. I decided I need to start reading a little more. I stay in a lot anyway, so� I gave myself an assignment. I am going to read the biographies of: Billy Strayhorn (who wrote a ton of stuff with Duke Ellington), Sun Ra, the Clash, Keith Moon, and then the books Moloch by Henry Miller, Saul Bellow�s The Victim (I love that book and need to read it again).

I�m a fucking asshole. That�s right. I had best friends, tons of them over the years. Guys, that is. So I had this friend named�we�ll call him Timmy. We used to go see the Grateful Dead together, and hang out all the time back in the day, we went to grade school together. At one point, I was dating this girl Tara for a brief time, not the Longer Tara I went out with later on. We broke up after a couple of months, and then Timmy started seeing her. I wasn�t really upset though. I felt a little weird. They were both cool people, so I didn�t really give a shit. Perhaps I wasn�t that into her, and that�s why it wasn�t a big deal. I think I may have just been jaded with relationships at the time, and took a decidedly Laiisez Faire attitude to it all, and didn�t want to get involved in any sort of dramatic behavior. Been there, done that. So, so, the reason I am a fucking asshole, is we faded away, Timmy and I. We ran into each other here and there, and would make plans, I would call him and hang out, maybe once, twice. Then, I would not call back. We�d run into each other again, and the same thing. Eventually he would tell me to call him, and I just never got around to it. So the other night I go to the record shop before practice, and I see him in there. Shit, this was last night. Time is quick. I walk around for a little while. No, this was Sunday, late afternoon. What day is it today? Is it next Wednesday yet? What happens next Wednesday? I have no clue. So I see him in the record shop, and I still have some time to log in the place. It�s Sunday, after literally like 16 days in a row being with a human being, I had a day to myself. I could browse the CD�s and not feel like I needed to hurry. I decided to duck out from him. He was with a girl. I had never seen her, must be his new girlfriend. I thought he would have come out of the closet by now. It was obvious to a whole circle of friends at one time. So I hide in the jazz section of all places. How many times can one look at the same Coleman Hawkins CD? How many times can I pick up that 25 dollar Lester Young 4 disc set and put it back down? How more interesting are the Sun RA CD�s going to be when I own them all (save for the live one from 1972 I�ve been eyeing for months now), and they are wrapped anyway? Why would anyone even look in the Miles Davis section? You�d have to be a real asshole to not own at least 35 Miles Davis CD�s. Personally, I own about 70, but then again, I NEED to. So there I am trying my fucking hardest to stay entertained in the rather weak jazz section at this particular store. I seriously probably own 40% of what they have there on a regular basis in one format or another. He ain�t going nowhere though. I finally can�t take the jazz section anymore, so I move to another area, where I stumble into him. We exchange small talk about what we�ve been doing, etc. The mystery woman walks up, I�m introduced to her, and per usual, I immediately forget her name. Timmy then says �I have to go pay for this, nice seeing you, take it easy�. He knows. He knows I�m an asshole. We�re at the stage now where he doesn�t need to ask me to call anymore, as I obviously won�t, because I am apparently a fucking asshole.

The cigarettes are not helping anyone here right now. Nat is helping out, and that�s it.

How many Catholic Priests does it take to change a lightbulb?

1 I would presume.

before & after