 She held the bottle of vodka high above her head, just high enough for it to look like her arms were bending backwards. I walked up to her, and smashed her in the (left) side of the head with a full bottle of Snapple Raspberry Iced Tea (the most overrated cold drink on the market today).

 We walked through the forest, and when we got to a clearing he told me he had once had an encounter with a little boy behind Walmart. I thought of the song �Wheels of Confusion� by Black Sabbath and ran as fast as I could.

 They told me they would be there. They told me they would help out. Now that I know they have lied I will do everything to make their lives bad. Get them fired, fuck their wives, have their boyfriend beat up. Maybe spike the water cooler with ammonia again.

 Robert and I were on a boat. I was looking through different rooms. I was looking for money. I ended up in front of a girl who looked like a boy. �What happened to your hair?� I asked. �I cut it� she replied.

 This dude got so fucked up one night he made the mistake of walking in front of my car on a dark street in downtown Salem. Nobody was around, so I pulled over and got out. �Excuse me, do you know how to get to the witch museum?� �uhhhh that place is probably closed now� he slurred, like the pathetic drunk that he was. I replied �Did you know that you are going to be dead in less than a minute�. His startled look gave me more than enough desire to give him 7-10 quick jabs in the chest and neck with an exacto knife I had in my breast pocket of my blue (I say it�s a dark blue, everyone else says it�s charcoal) Old Navy button down shirt.

 we walked into the restaurant like Led Zeppelin walked off that plane in The Song Remains the Same

 Everyone I know is a fucking moron, obviously. Why are you fucking reading someone�s diary, go read a fucking book or something you fucking nosey bastard.

 It is so sunny and nice out today, I wish I was at the beach.

 It�s fun to draw pictures�on the dead bodies of people you just mangled with an Electric Black Sabbath Agothocicle Generational Knife Attachment.

 Go fuck yourself and visit anopt

 I fucking love hotorieosnsiowowji2892

 I fucking hate your shoes, they are fucking ugly.

 Top ten worst fucking people in the world: You and the 9 people you call your friends.

before & after