I�ve come up with a great idea for Halloween tomorrow evening. I�m going to decorate my car with pink ribbons, dress up as Drew Carey, fill some water pistols with ammonia and bleach and squirt tourists, and drunk punk rock people in the face for amusement. I think this would be a fun thing for any man. How great would it be to get arrested for that?

So today I resigned as head Union Steward at work. I sent an e-mail to the whole company announcing this. I got a couple of e-mails, a couple comments and phone calls, and one of the other union stewards, the one right below me (I was the �senior steward�, and he was right below me, and now the head) walked by me and said �coward� or something sarcastic like that. This guy is just a random warehouse worker, who�s a bitter man in general, and lazy as fuck. He now will have to take care of all of that shit that I did. So I�m assuming he�s pissed about that. Basically, you don�t get paid for representing the union at work, and where my job that I actually get paid for has been getting more �intense� and whatnot, I could not hack all this extra shit. Plus, a lot of the time I didn�t agree with the union much. They seem to want to protect everyone, regardless of the situation. Sure I like to hear both sides, but it seem like a lot of times, they jump to conclusions, and practically teach you that �management is always wrong, and evil as well�. It�s all crap in the grand scheme of things. Anyway, at work, I�m definitely not a slacker (unless I�m e-mailing friends back and forth), but I refuse to represent workers who I think do a half-ass job. People who go to work and fuck around, and get upset when they are reprimanded my their boss deserve to be fired. We have a system in our contract that says you get three warnings for �performance problems�, the union wanted to change it to six warnings. What a load of crap. If someone can�t learn a lesson twice, then they are as dumb as a rock, if it takes three times, then you�re really fucked, but six times, give me a fucking break. Get a job at McDonalds and call me in the morning. I�m all for the working class�the WORKING class though. Fuck the slackers, be a robot for eight hours a day for your money, you�ll feel better about it in the long run. Anyway, I was in a great mood all day today. I got up relatively early and got to work an hour before I normally do, I plan on doing that from now on. Working the nine hour days again. Tomorrow I work 8:30 to 3:30, and then have to work at the record shop from 4:00 until 9:30pm. The day seems to go by faster when your there longer. I�m back addicted to work again. This happens from time to time with me for some absurd reason. It�s a bit silly of me, but it feels good to make money, and realize you�re worth it. It�s good for the soul, when other things in life may not be going as well as they should be.

I want to tell her that I would never hurt her. I want to tell her that we�re not all like that. I want to tell her that I could be the one. I told her she could call me any time she wanted. Any hour of the day I would listen to her tell me about her problems. She makes me smile when I talk to her, and that�s all I really want. I�m not sure what she wants right now. As usual, I take months to bring these things up. I need to wade in the water and see how warm or cold it is though. I need to know that I can listen to her. At first I doubted myself. Every day I feel more for her though, and I don�t think she realizes this, or is scared of it. I�m not out to intimidate anyone. I�m here to be me for someone I think is worth it. I�m here always and forever for whomever cares. I want her to be that one right now. I can�t go on like I have though. I need to get these things on some sort of table. I told myself I would talk about this the next time I see her, only thing is, I never get to see her. Maybe someday she�ll find time for me. I always have so much time for her.

It�s raining, I�m tired, and filled with only one thought right now, or two, and I�ve just exhausted both of them.

Out-

before & after