The weekend turned out okay, Friday evening I saw Sunny Day Real Estate at the Middle East club. They were great. They had their �at the artists request, please refrain from smoking� thing going on, which was fine with me. I�m a smoker, but I know sitting in a club for hours in smoke is pretty gross, you could actually see the band, which was a plus, and my clothes smelled normal when I left. The best part of the show was that it was free. Saturday I saw Angela, which was also a good thing. I always have a nice time with her, feeling much more comfortable around her, and liking her more and more that I know her. Today was an amazing day, so Jeremy and I took a long drive up to almost New Hampshire, looked at leaves and listened to some new music, and ate lunch and had a great waitress, well, service was okay, everything else about her was �fine� though.

I am listening to some old punk rock CD�s right now that I listened to 15 years ago or so. This is all reminding me of that whole era. Kerry Collins. What a funny thing that all was in retrospect. Getting yourself caught up in someone�s insecure crap. Regardless, the sex was great, and the company was always good. We had a tight group of friends, none of which I see anymore, although I do work with my old friend Tom�s sister, Katrina now. We go to lunch every Friday, she�s pretty cool. Today I wrote a new song for the band. I never usually write whole songs on guitar by myself, they usually are created at rehearsal out of improvisation. I worked on this for a few hours this evening as the phone rang over and over. I still haven�t even checked the messages on it, 6 hours later�Anyway this song is called �Rick Wakeman� It�s about the girl I dreamt about the other night in the mansion with the policemen that turned into piggyback rider ghosts�We now have a plethora of songs named after musicians. None of them have anything to do with the artists in the traditional sense, but, for the most part I did have reasons for the titles about all of them. They are: Donald Fagen, Paul Stanley, Carly Simon, Daryl Jennifer, and we are �working� on one titled Mike Rutherford at the moment. I guess we found a little gimmick�Now if we could play live at some point.

You�re making me actually doubt some of the bullshit I talk in here about people. You seem to not be full of shit like the others, who knows? I haven't really had a bad time with you. You�ve made the nights a little bit better on the weekend. I wish I could tell you this in person more often though, I sense that you think I don�t like you. It�s quite the opposite though. I realized it this weekend. I realized there is something there I�m aware of. Just sitting there watching you or doing nothing is enough for me for the night for now. Some day we�ll get around to living different. Right now I hate how I feel from day to day. The days are long, the nights are too short when I see you though. It feels like by the time I see you it�s time to go home. I wonder why you never want to spend the whole night with me. It seems like you need to get home. I could easily spend the whole weekend with you, and you wouldn�t piss me off. Today you said I was �scary� sometimes. I thought that was funny in a way. I�m not a mean guy I swear, well, I would never be mean to you anyway. Let me just spend a weekend with you so I can get to know you, just once. Let�s have a birthday party for me. I hate parties. I hate the big crowds and all of that other bullshit, getting through to you is something I want to do though. I want you to know that I could easily devote days of my life to you now. I�ve forgotten about all of the others now. All the mean ones from the last fifteen years. I feel like we know each other pretty good now. Can�t we go for a walk, or a drive and just do nothing but do nothing?

before & after