This time of night, it�s easy to just forget the rules and ethics. This time of night I could easily tear someone up with words. This time of night, I could jump over the fence and run away from them all. Why do they bring me warm soup and books about monsters and devils? Man I love the monsters and devils. Halloween. Monsters, and devils. They are everywhere. It�s time to watch all those silly movies now. Today I bought the DVD�s if Evil Dead, as well as Army Of Darkness, and Boogie Nights. They are all those �special versions�, the Boogie Nights has a cool cover though. So the demons and monsters are all over the place nowadays, especially here, in Salem. Tourists walking all over downtown, hitting baby carriages after I imagine ghosts sweeping down and stepping on the accelerator. I didn�t do it your honor, scouts honor. I�d feel better if we could just get this all over with. Let the crowds invade, let the weak ones drink their barley and whiskey, and everyone go home, watch out for the tree on the way out sir. They make me want to throw up, the weak ones. I haven�t met another one of me yet. I haven�t met another person like this in a good long time now. Immediately, you should pay attention to my phone number and address. This is it, now call and fall at my feet. I will fall on the floor for you and let you pick me up. Don�t pick me up though. They just make me want to get away from it all and start up a cult of clowns and guys in raincoats. Lab coats and the like. I miss having this cup of coffee to get me through it. I miss getting to sit there and watching it all go down. One night in July. One night, late in July I told this lie. An outright lie. I got myself some good lovin�, I got myself into some serious trouble with my subconscious, and here I am telling about it. You can�t move a steering wheel unless you have your arms cut off. They make me want to never leave the house again. Over and over and over and over and over again. Then it ends. It always ends. I can�t remember faces, because at the time I was a bit drunk, and well, to say I can�t imagine what it was like, would be telling the truth. What does that tell you about you? Are you reading this? What the fuck do you think you�re doing with peoples feelings? What do you think I can just be a statue for a day, and a lawyer the next night. Forget it, I don�t buy your fucking games, and you got to play mine. How doesn�t it feel now? It feels great on this end. If you could see my smile right now, you�d make yourself fall over the bed and run out. This is what you wanted. That was what you wanted. Plain and simple. Some sort of badge. A trophy. I wrote a song about you. One of our best songs, it�s called �Trophy�. It�s about you, you fucking scarecrow. Lose the lipstick, and lose the attitude. You have about two weeks until you go to the hospital with a swollen ego. I enjoy the soup, yes, but I don�t enjoy your hands on me. I enjoy all the books and discussion, but I don�t like the fist fights and dizzy drives home on the wrong side of the room. You. Thanks for turning me into that. You turned me into this other person. You will never meet him now. You can meet me. Meet me at the corner of 10th Avenue and Waste of Time Blvd. I�ll be there with your shoes. I told you I would buy you a pair of shoes. Ya know, tonight I realized who I am reminded of. It�s someone from high school. You�re smart, but dumb as a rock right? Of course I remembered your name. You pretended like you didn�t remember mine. Questioning it. I made sure I blurted yours right out. What time should I pick you up next weekend? I can be there with all of my money and all of the time in the world for you, if you just let me hold your hand and take you to the beach. It�s cold at the beach. Go to the beach with me, and I will show you a trick I do. I do this trick with the sky. I make the sky disappear for you. I make all the stars disappear. They distract me, when I�m trying to pay some sort of attention. They make me insecure and have to stop, wait a minute here.

before & after