It�s fresh and chilly out. I feel a million miles away, yet I feel like I�m a foot away from the door again. Ready to go out the door again. Yet again, I feel sort of trapped. Sort of on my way down the road yet again. The road that leads me to the same fucking place every few months. Not sure how or why I get myself into this stuff, but it generally sucks. I would much rather be on my way to some other city right now. I�d much rather just stay home from now on. Let the phone ring off the fucking wall. Let the doorbell go on and on. Let the windows get tapped on. I want to stay under the snow covered roof all winter, and then come out in the spring a different person. I want to be able to tell people what I did all winter. Bore people with every little detail. I�ll hand out candy on Halloween. I love that nobody comes to this neighborhood on Halloween. Living on a dead end thingy has it�s advantages. There isn�t a worse place to be on Halloween than Salem Massachusetts. Others would think quite the contrary, but at this point it�s turned into another lame excuse for people to just walk around and get fucked up and act stupid. Hip Hop Hooray. Last year I took a ride up to Portsmouth by myself later at night, that was pretty cool. It�s a cool town. I went and visited a friend and walked around for a little while. Some costumes walking around, but for the most part desolate streets. I don�t want handshakes for three hours. We�ll leave that to Al Gore and George W Bush. Let them out of the house for the night. This weekend is going to suck I think. I may take advantage of it and just sit around leisurely. I�m sick of the running around and being out every night. I�ve been saying that for five years now : )

I feel like shit, and could give a shit about anything right now.enough.

before & after