Oh Joy!
2000-09-01 || the look on a mans face is desperation, the look on my face is far from it
The sounds of: James Brown � Get On The Good foot

Sleep deprivation is good. Sleep deprivation brings good things out of me. Okay, so I�ve been living on a steady diet of 5 hours a sleep maximum for a long time now (except for last Sunday where, in a move very unlike me, I slept past noon. I never sleep past 10am. Sleep is boring�). It�s now 25 minutes to 2am, and I have about 2-3 hours of work I need to have done by the morning. I have to review two employees in my department�by tomorrow morning. I started doing it last weekend, turned them in to my boss (this is the first time I�ve done this�I think he�s sort of testing me out perhaps?), and he gave them back with suggestions for revision. So here I am the night before they�re due, fresh in from a night at the bar with some friends, in a very good mood, and ready to attack this shit. I attempted to do them at work today but the woman with the voice I so kindly wrote about in here a couple days ago kept breaking my concentration. Instead of yelling at her to shut up, or write silly bad words about her, I gave it back in the office today. I was hyper, and I mean off the wall. I kept doing my impression of Paul Stanley of Kiss: �FIREHOUSE!!!!! WOOOOO!!!!!�, � HOW YOU ALL FEEL???WE GOT A LOT OF GOOD LOOKIN� GIRLS IN HERE TOONYTE�AND IF SOME OF YOU GIRLS WANNA GET YOURSELVES KISSSSED, MEET US IN THE LADIES ROOM!!!!!�. The office was amused the first 5 times I did this I guess�after a dozen or so though�yeah.shhhhhhhh. So, late night is when I think the clearest. Late night I can get shit done. This is always when I do significant things. I work better alone, late. Mornings and afternoons drag me down. Phones. E-mails. Visits�kill me please.

So I had a�bizarre night maybe? It�s like this. I planned on meeting Lauren for whatever. She originally was supposed to go on a date with some guy �Frank� who�s a mutual friend of some of my friends, I�d never met him. She didn�t want to go though�which is good I guess. I told her to meet me at the outdoor bar we all frequent. I get there a little early and meet Tony, Shawn and then our friend Pat walks up �Oh, there�s Pat with Frank�. I�m thinking �oh, that must be the guy�shit, should I call her�. She finally shows up and this Frank guy is a little pissed I guess. She told him she was sick I guess�and felt pretty uncomfortable. A minute before Pat and Frank asked who we were meeting there and I said �oh, nobody� She walks up and they ask her who she�s meeting and she points at me. Thanks�From that point on Frank didn�t really talk to me. Oh well, I felt comfortable anyway. Heather showed up shortly after as well as Jeremy, and a slew of others. As usual, I feel strange when I am around a lot of different friends from different groups, and different people and whatever. I feel like I�m neglecting this one and that one. I�m an awful mingler I guess (spell check says �mingler� is not a word�who knew?). Either way, I feel like I�m starting to come around lately. I�m able to just be out and be content and laugh, and have a couple drinks. Not acting weird, not hiding things, not being vague. It�s not worth it, and it�s not me. I like being happy. All that other shit in between is just bullshit I guess. Drama. Fuck the drama, and fuck the other guy. I�m putting the suit away for the fall and winter.

A smart man would get his ass to fucking work. I have 5 James Brown CD�s in the changer on random right now, it�s just about 2 am, I have 28 cigarettes,half an iced coffee, half a joint, and three hours of work to do. Wish me luck�.outcha.

before & after