If there�s one thing I hate in the whole world, more than anything ever, it�s noise. I love making noise with the guitar. I love having the stereo as loud as possible in my car by myself. I do not like loud voices. People who project across the room on the phone. People who blare music in the car so you can�t talk, people who blare it in the house so you can�t talk. I�m fighting back now. I�m talking in my same soft spoken voice. I don�t feel I should have to speak any louder than I normally do. With that said it is way too fucking loud in here today. I can�t concentrate on my first day back here in a few days. There�s no need to talk on the phone as loud as some people do. Fuck. I�m trying to listen to the Rolling Stones on the stereo in here, so far I�ve missed Brown Sugar, Sway, and Wild Horses, and I�m going to miss Bitch most likely. Fuck. Okay, I�m going to storm over there and take it out and see what happens�Okay that was funny �Why are you shutting that off?� �Because you�re too loud today� Ha�.I should be the boss here eh? I�m starting the CD over on my headphones and I can still here this fucking woman�s voice. Jesus Christ.

Anyway. I feel new today. I feel different. A little depressed. Well, not depressed�what�s the word? I don�t know, I miss being depressed. I miss the nights (thank fuck she just fucking left) of being miserable and shitty�.Just kidding. I have nothing to say here, I have noboby to talk about, and nothing important to tell anyone in person. I�m done. The end. I have been having way too much small talk lately, and I don�t like it. I need something, maybe a death, or an arrest, or a loss of blood, or something to happen around me. Otherwise, I am looking at how pathetically boring my existance is right now. How boring everything and everyone is. It�s funny in a way. Everynight is a new night to me. It seems like everyone else is on this schedule of doing the same thing and seeing the same faces every night and every day. I would go fucking crazy! I can�t do the things anymore. I knew this months ago. I like the easy times. I have plans every night nowadays, and I don�t mind it during the week, the weekend though, I want to do what the fuck I want to do. I hate making plans. Stefanie was giving me shit the other night because I would let my cell phone ring and ring. I�m sorry, but I was already out and content, there was no reason to talk to anyone else at that point. I�m just going to be talked into plans to do things I don�t want to do anyway. I hate answering the phone if I don�t know who it is. God bless caller ID and all that stuff�.So the weekend, yeah, the weekend, what better time to do what nobody says. Hey wait I do the same lunch thing every Saturday practically�who am I kidding. I just don�t want to make plans with anyone anymore. I�m going to try and do that from now on. There�s a small group of friends who always put me on the spot with shit like this and I hate it. I might just tell them to cool out a bit. I can�t be bothered anymore. And there are motherfuckers outside my office waiting to get me. Take my wife, please.

before & after