It's 8AM and I'm awake. I've never written in here before this early in the morning. One reason is, nobody wants to hear a grump in the morning. Since I was already waken up last night while sleeping with a phone call that had no purpose whatsoever but to bug me, I already did that. I still feel a little bit like that right now. I think it's going to be an okay day. I want to do something tonight though. It's funny that if you make the right phone calls at the right time, you can go out and get laid any time you want. How come you can't make some phone calls and fall in love? So, funny that I mention that phone call, I had a dream that I was lying in bed with Stefanie last night. Just lying here, we went to get out of the bed, and there was water all over the floor, and a bunch of soaking wet newspapers with the headline "It's official!!" in big letters. Who the hell knows what this means. I kind of hope I didn't piss her off on the phone repeating "but I have to go now" over and over, but I just wasn't in the mood. Nobody wants to be awaken to receive a phone call from a party of drunk people, I don't care who you are. She probably won't even remember.

The early morning like this has such character.It's a bunch of us out and ready to take on the day. It's people looking like zombies, yet awake in some strange way. Driving to work on the highway is a chore at this point for me, but it's also kind of zen like. I'm in my car with the windows up so I don't hear the noise, playing my music, in my world. "My World" by The Descendents is a great song. I've listened to a whole lot of them lately. They rock my world, no pun intended.

I want the winter back. I want that feeling of needing to escape outside. The outside is so crisp it hurts. The outside is so empty and desolate around here in New England. The rural areas look so nice in the winter. The summer looks like shit in the downtown area. Lot's of people walking around in shorts and sweat. Lot's of people walking in front of my car. Lot's of tourists around here hoping to learn about witches. Drunk teenagers in Volvos passing me in my car. So evidently, nothing inside me has changed. I still don't see myself in two years. I don't see myself this weekend. I don't see myself yesterday. Why couldn't I have been dealt the full house?

before & after