sound- Elliot Smith - Figure 8

I haven't read my last entry, but I think it was me whining about not wanting to do this anymore. I can't help myself though. I just have so much interesting fucking rubbish to spew...

Today I stayed home from work. I haven't been there since last Thursday. Last night I was laying in bed thinking how I have no idea how to do what I do at work right now, or I feared I wouldn't remember. This never happens when I go on vacation, so why now? Strange...I guess I'm ready to go back and attack tomorrow. I've taken enough time off at this point. Rest.

Why am I so enthralled(totally the wrong word but good enough for now) with JC? I saw her on Sunday evening. I don't think I've ever met anyone quite like her. If I didn't know her from 12-13 years ago I would hate her. She's not really my type personality wise. Physically though, she is everything to me. She is definitely crazy, and an alcoholic. I picked her up at her place and she came to my car with two beers in her hand( "a couple for the ride to the bar?" I asked her ). She goes from being completely crazy and talking all sorts of crazy things, and making jokes to being serious in a flash. It would definitely drive me crazy if I had to spend alot of time with her. I must say she is probably the best kisser I've ever been with though. She is definitely straight out of a Bukowski story though. I noticed on Sunday that she is very smart, just doesn't show it really. She is definitely someone whos thought I would never be able to read, she is a labryinth that I don't even want to begin walking through...if I know what's good for me. I guess that may be the attraction; I love people who you can't read at all. I am attracted to them more than those who you can figure out in the first five minutes of meeting them. I guess I can be like that in a way, by accident though, I'm just quiet around new people, so there isn't really any indication of my personality.

Just bought this new Elliot Smith CD today, it's pretty good, although I'm not really paying attention to the lyrics, just the music. Flipping through them I saw some good stuff though. The current song reminds me of the Beatles, or something off of George Harrisons double CD that I even listened to today and I can't remembe-All Things Must Pass is the title. What an amazing record that is. I think I looked like a music geek today(I was called one anyway). I went to the record shop with AR and bought some vinyls, I took out Coltrane-Lush Life(out of the sleeve) and showed it to her, and then held it up to my nose and she said "geek".

The last few years I've tried to discover all of these records or bands I have been reading about for years and never gave them a chance because I was either a) with a girlfriend, b) going to see Phish and realizing there's no real reason to ever see any other band (I'm continually let down at this point when I see another band, as I have all these expectations. Why would anyone want to just watch a band play their songs, and pander to the audience? I asked myself this often. I've seen a few amazing shows in the past 6 months or so that have changed this-Tom Waits, Bob Dylan[whom I foolishly avoided for years 'Bob Dylan live...in 1994? Are you fucking crazy? He is very good live currently.). c) Too "punk rock".(In the eighties I remember when I got into punk rock and sold all of my other music-heavy metal, rock and roll, etc.). Now I'm just trying to open more tastes I guess. Pet Sounds by The Beach Boys was one of these. It hasn't completely captured me, like say...the Harrison record has, or Exile On Main Street-those were instant with me all fo a sudden. At one point I remember listening to one of those and I just didn't like them. Perhaps this will happen with Pet Sounds...it will just hit me one day.Be there right then or something. Captain Beefheart was another artist I feel silly about just discovering now. I now have a ton of his stuff thanks to some guys at work getting me into him.Guided By Voices,Talking Heads, Hot Water Music, The Faces, Nick Drake. From now on I will just try and get on to someone I know will one day be "important"...as if that would even happen at point. :P

Some others I want to remember to buy more stuff I've never heard besides "hits" or songs here and there: XTC, Brian Eno, Devo...blah blah blah.

I stayed in tonight to go to bed "early"

out-12:42

before & after