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the sound coming out of the speakers over there is: The Police - Outlandos D'Amour

A little dizzy from the ale earlier, but in a generally sober state at this point. I drank a bit early tonight with JC. We went to a laid back place in Gloucester, played some pool, and talked about old times. It's sstrange, I still can't put a time on when I hung out with her. It seems as if the last 10 years have been a big blur to me. Me acting stupid,doing things that did notadd anything positive to my life.I cant believe how negative I am sometimes with people. I treat people like yesterdays news alot it seems. That's a bad way to put it. I just open my motuth too fucking much. I complan about people, when I rarely look at myself and see how full of shit I sound sometimes. My foot has found another home in my mouth for years now. I like to talk, but nothing worthwhile is coming out. Saometimes I wish i could take anything back shitty I say. Sure, let's blame it on my chemical imbalance as usual. "Yes, I have a problem in my brain, but I can't tell you about it, just deal with me". The s is nowhere near the c key, yes it is actually. I opened a pack of cigarettes at 8 pm, and now, at 3am, I'm about to smoke the last one of the pack. I know I will feel like shit tomorrow. I want to live healthier, perhaps I'll feel better about everything. Sometimes, I just want someone to slap me.Nobody has done me wrong, yet I need to nitpick and find something I think is wrong.The stereo is loud, and my thoughts are getting more mubled and jumbled as the miniutes go by. this is my cue to stop. fuck me and allt he shit

-out

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