Oh Joy!
2004-08-20 || your chicken of life has arrives
Soundtrack � Kiss � Hotter than Hell

This modem situation is going to force me to murder a puppy in front of a child. I mean really, could you just work?

On the way home tonight I stopped and let these three Mexican guys with a soccer ball cross the street. Those short Mexican guys are everywhere and you know what? I love them! I love the Mexican guys I see coming home from work on their ten-speed bikes. I assume they are blind to most of the crap we Americans were exposed to upon growing up. I told Jodie about this on the phone and then asked her if she remembered the Mexican couple with the baby sitting next to us at breakfast when I was down there. She remembered a baby crying. I said it would be impossible to be annoyed by a Mexican baby as it would be crying in Spanish. She knows some Spanish though. I don�t know much beyond �amigo� and �I�ll have the �fire sauce��.

I attempted to get another minority hat trick going tonight but it never happened.

I never ate dinner tonight. It�s now 1:47 AM and I am considering making a cheeseburger. Would you fry up a burger at 1:47 AM and then go to bed shortly thereafter? A fucking kheeseburger!

There is literally a show on right now called �Perfect 10 Boxing�. These women who are apparently models boxing. They are actually hitting each other. The thing I don�t understand is the tall woman with fake tits with the sign that comes out in between rounds. Shouldn�t they have like�an ugly midget with acne do it instead? You�re already looking at these fake looking women. Women with huge fake tits should be thrown into a vat of 850 degree butterscotch. Men who are into these kinds of women should be castrated and forced to read Piers Anthony for eternity. I bet there are enough Piers Anthony books out there that you could never read all of them in one lifetime. You would have to murder a ton of people in a state that doesn�t have the death penalty so you can get 35 consecutive life terms just so you could get through all of the Piers Anthony books. Actually, if I keep smoking pot I could see breaking out a Xanth novel. Heh.

There is nothing remotely attractive about this woman. These are the breasts I�m talking about. They appeal to the lowest common denominator/Howard Stern fan. In other words, people who should be completely fucking killed to death with a weapon.

Speaking of Mexican, I was outside smoking a cigarette talking to the Chinese. Wait, I thought Chinese had �can� at the end of it. Bad segue.


That black guy I work with was out of work last week for a few days. Turns out, his ex-girlfriend got shot in the head by her jealous boyfriend. He was still friends with her and was pretty freaked out. He said at the open casket he could see where the makeup covered the hole. He has nightmares about it now. I think I would rather be gang raped by Richard Simmons, Donald Rumsfeld, Keith Richards, and the ghost of Max Beckmann than deal with that. Go ahead Christian, complain about the guy who didn't use his directional signal.

before & after