Oh Joy!
2004-06-04 || Lionel Richie will die for oil. You will fuck Joe Mantegna
Soundtrack � Eno � Another Green World

I just don�t feel like going to sleep yet I guess. I guess some black guy just sprayed hot steaming cum all over your asshole. Check out this guys feetsies!

I literally just watched the last 45 minutes of Deliver Us From Eva starring LL Cool J, and a number of attractive African-American women.

Since I won ATHOUSANDDOLLARS!!!!! last night, I obviously went to the CD shop at lunch and spent far too long. Got this Eno reissue, Bjork doing the Post record live (quick where are the 9 entries I wrote about Bjork being overrated, etc??!), a Shuggie Otis record that has two records on one, and a James Brown reissue of In the Jungle Groove, one of my favorite records of his. How exciting it is to talk about music to yourself? Well, someone is going to read this unfortunately and get absolutely nothing out of it. �Wow, that guy bought 4 CDs today, great�

I wonder if there is a man who can claim he tossed Helen Reddy�s salad?

We�re going to take a trip to Philadelphia to see a Phillies game and avoid cheese steaks. I�m sorry if you�re reading this and you�re from Philadelphia, but the cheese steak down there is nasty. It�s like a steakum with cheese whiz sauce on it. I�d rather do that thing I was talking about above with Helen Reddy.

I hate when people say �ballooned to X amount of pounds� when talking about something like this happening:

Since I won ATHOUSANDDOLLARS!!!!! last night, I bought one of the women who works in our office a cake for her birthday, and we threw a little thing today for her. See, I don�t just sit around hating Jews and faggots, wishing I could blow hot cum all over your asshole, and looking at pictures of cats on the internet. Although look at this guy! I wonder if he thinks his owner is an asshole for having a John Grisham book? Who cares cause he�s just gonna play with that plastic bag for a while! OMG LOL!

So the plan is to have enough marijuana left by Sunday night so I can go see the new Harry Potter movie. Your plan is to get into bed with your significant other and wonder why you hate yourself so much. Wow, that�s gotta suck.

I had that new Ingmar Bergman DVD set in my hand today.

So tomorrow night is the gig, and then nothing booked until August. I�m slightly relieved in a way, it seems we�ve been going nonstop for a while now, even though we really haven�t had many gigs. I need to write some new songs. The gig is in Salem, so you�re home in ten minutes.

Imagine suffering �severe trauma to the genitals�? Jesus.

How tired is making fun of Fred Durst at this point? Who fucking cares? The guy exists, he sells records of music most of us wouldn�t want to listen to, big fucking deal, get over it. Why waste energy thinking about, or talking about how awful Fred Durst is when you can spend that listening to Ted Hawkins or Richard Thompson? Think about how much you like your favorite artists rather than talk about how lame Godsmack is. You should only hate Social Distortion or that Turbonigger band or whatever it is, who are absolutely horrid. There is no possible way guys that look like this could make good music. That�s actually a fact, not an opinion.

This is what good musicians should look like:

Oooh, look at that chord, I�m not playing funk in that pic am I? This is awfully obnoxious to put myself amongst these men. Although that shirt might be the most obnoxious thing I've ever done.

This is kind of obnoxious as well though:

If someone videotapes these women being beheaded to the soundtrack of Spanish Flea I would pay them ATHOUSANDDOLLARS!!!!!

before & after