How much better would

This headache is still here. I�m not leaving the house for a year now. Far too many instances where I need to explain shit, and/or converse about oxygen and painkillers, etc. You know what I mean. In work, I feel like telling everyone to not ask any more questions, go about their daily business, and collect their paycheck every other Wednesday. I would like to move to New Hampshire where there is no electricity, no good art, and no shaved pussy. I�ve had eighteen different ideas today, none have or will come to fruition. I found security flaws at the airport. Did I mention this? Do I often repeat myself in here. I imagine I would be looked at as an asshole if I posted the diary at home in here. Rapist. Racist. Hmmm, take the PC out of Raist, and you have Rapist or Racist. Eh.

I figured that I do everything about, ummm halfway. I start things, never finish them. A good amount of books around the room unfinished. Half a college education. Half a head�s worth of knowledge and skill at how to play guitar. I half like everyone I know. I don�t think I�ve ever completed anything in my life. How about you? How is your drive? I can halfway kill myself. Obviously this is what I do from day to day. The rules:

� Don�t watch what you eat, eat as much unhealthy food as you can

� Smoke 25-30 cigarettes a day

� Never wear a seatbelt

� Sleep about 4 hours a night

� Smoke marijuana 3 times a day

The resulting effects of this experiment:

� Weekly sharp pains in chest while sleeping

� Shortness of breath when doing simple tasks such as walking up 5 stairs

� No memory of anything whatsoever; having to e-mail myself constantly to remind myself simple things like �get gas tomorrow morning�

� The inability to learn or comprehend information

� Sitting on the edge of the bed with one shoe on while getting ready for work

� Doing 2 hours of work in a 9 hour day

� Looking forward to sitting around doing nothing

� Constant social anxiety

Who wants to come over tonight and play Yahtzee with me?

before & after