�Ooooh, I�m gonna cum all over your feet�

That just may be my favorite line from a pornographic movie. With my recent foot problems, I decided to try this remedy and see if anything happened. I decided this on Saturday afternoon in the handicapped stall of the men�s room in Best Buy, Danvers, MA. Plenty of room to move around, and hopefully I wouldn�t have an accident like the time I jerked off in the office bathroom here at work and got it all over my shirt by accident.

So I make my way into the luxurious spacious handicapped stall of the men�s room in Best Buy, Danvers, MA with the sole purpose of curing my left foot ailment. Thankfully, my gigantic Italian cock swings a little to the left, so this should be easy! I take my left shoe off, followed by my sock, and place it down on a little floor mat I made out of paper towels, toilet paper, and a business reply card from Car and Driver that was in there.

I�m standing above the toilet, as if I�m going to piss in it and start working it a little, going through different scenarios in my head: Jennifer Love Hewitt on a beach with a cucumber sticking out of her ass, Hilary Duff taking her driving test naked, Molly Ringwald circa 1985 riding me in the back of a Ford Tempo with her favorite band, The Rave-Up�s (�you lost it all when you lost me��) playing on the CASSETTE deck. I finally settle in on Laura Bush, from behind, wearing a Fidel Castro mask. I�m now harder than a James Joyce book to a retarded black nun.

It�s coming, and now I have that �pre-cum� stuff coming out of the head of my gigantic Italian cock. You know, you can take your thumb and rub it all over the head and make it glisten like a cheap Wal-Mart diamond. It�s well on it�s way to coming out. I now need to figure out how to get it on my left foot while it�s pointing at Mars, whereas it should be pointing towards China. I can feel it just about to explode all over the place when I hear two guys come in to the bathroom talking �Dude, Biker Boyz is going to look great on that TV�

Fuck! What the fuck. I cannot essplode cum all over the luxurious handicapped men�s room of Best Buy, Danvers, MA if I have that movie in my head now. Now I�m picturing those Japanese motorcycles and muscular dudes in helmets with the shades tinted out, etc. I can�t essplode. What the fuck?

I zip up, and make my way back out to the consumers and big tv sets, limping like an old man.

I�ll go to the doctor this week if it doesn�t get any better.

Aside from maybe Aarne, every guy I know is pussy whipped. Makes me want to say what Jeff Spicoli says to the guy interviewing him from ABC near the end of Fast Times.

How long will it take anyone to realize what they have ahead of them? When it�s too late? Eh

before & after